Insight, Part Three

Then the game started and Blair was struggling harder with himself to break Jim's good mood. He didn't really want to; Jim was so relaxed and carefree at the moment as he settled down in front of the TV, cheering enthusiastically, and having a good day.

Jim recognized the voice and he turned to greet the woman, walking over to hug her. "Kelly, what brings you here?" he asked, chuckling a bit. He was puzzled when she didn't return his happy greeting. "What's going on?" What she said knocked him for a loop.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to come to," she said, tears spilling over her eyelashes.

"I just saw Matt like a month and a half ago. He had three months left to go. Why would he try to escape?"

Jim turned back and flicked off the TV. Suddenly, the game didn't seem quite so important. He headed towards the stairs and caught Blair by the elbow, dragging him along. Just before going upstairs, he leaned down and whispered, "Hey, keep her company, Chief? She needs somebody with her right now. Sorry about our day together..."

"Jim, man, a friend of yours is dead," Blair said quietly. "Don't worry about it, okay? Let's figure this out. I'll stay with Kelly. Go, get changed."

Blair turned back and walked over to Kelly. "Hi, Kelly, I'm Blair. I'm Jim's roommate. I realize this is a tough time for you. Can I get you some coffee? Tea?"

She shook her head, wiping away a few more tears. "Hi, Blair. No, thanks. I don't want anything to drink. I don't think I c-could k-keep it d-down..." and she dissolved into tears again.

"Oh, hey. Hey. C'mere," Blair said softly, and he pulled her against him, letting her rest her head on his shoulder as he soothingly stroked her hair and back. He crooned nonsense sounds to her, telling her it was all right, that it was okay, to just cry as much as she needed to. He felt like his heart was going to break for her; obviously, she and this Matt person had been close and now he was gone from her, just like that.

Upstairs, Jim felt his jaw clench as he heard Kelly's misery. Matt was her brother and the three of them had been close during their school years. He listened to Blair consoling her as he tucked his black turtleneck into his black jeans, then pulled the gray lamb's wool sweater Blair had given him over his head. Gathering up his shield and back holster with his service weapon, he attached the former to his belt on the front of his jeans and the latter to the back of his jeans, then trotted downstairs. He took Kelly from Blair and held her while the student went to change into his own warm public clothing and then the three of them left the loft.

As they climbed into Jim's truck - Kelly had taken the bus from her apartment since her car was in the shop - Jim said, "Kelly, honey, I'm going to talk to my captain about this, see what I can dig up on Matt's situation. You really don't need to come in on this, but I don't think you should be alone right now. Is there anyone I can leave you with until I can come back?"

Snuggled against the detective, Kelly stared blankly out the window as she replied numbly, "My friend, Flannery - you remember her? - she's home. I can probably stay with her..."

"Good, good girl. I'll swing by Flan's place and drop you off, then head into the station. I'll let you know as much as I can, okay?" he said as he put an arm around her shoulders.

When they arrived at a nice house out in the suburbs, Blair got out and assisted Kelly out of the truck and then he and Jim escorted her up the walkway. As they approached the front door, it opened to reveal an average-height woman with blonde-streaked brown hair, a swarthy complexion, round features, and glasses. "Kelly? Jim?" she said as she opened the storm door.

"Hi, Flan. Listen, Kelly needs to stay with you for a little bit," Jim said, handing Kelly over to Flannery as the other woman reached out for her friend and drew the grieving woman inside.

Jim sighed, glanced at Blair who looked back at him supportively, then at Flannery. "Matt's dead, Flannery. According to prison authorities, he was shot while trying to escape."

Flannery gasped and then she hugged Kelly tightly, her own eyes filling with tears. "But ... that's stupid. Why in the world-"

"We don't know. It sounds mighty fishy to me, so I'm going to do some checking around. I was wondering if Kelly could stay with you for a while...?"

"Absolutely," Flannery said firmly. She pulled back so she could look at her friend. "Kelly? Baby? Do you want to stay with me?"

Kelly whimpered through her tears and nodded, then burrowed back into her friend's embrace.

Jim sighed. "Okay, then. Flannery, you have my cell phone number. Call me if I'm needed. I'll be back at some point today."

"Okay, Jim," Flannery said softly, tears still brightening her eyes. "We'll be fine for now."

The detective nodded and he and Blair left. The ride to the station was silent after Jim put the phone call in to Simon about what had happened. It wasn't until they had parked in the garage and were riding up in the elevator that Blair said quietly, "I'm sorry about your friend. Who was he?"

Jim sighed and rubbed at his forehead briefly. "Matthew Temple. He was one of my best friends in high school, and by association, I was close with his sister, Kelly, too. Anyway, a while back, Matt got sent to prison for harvesting weed. I would make it a point to stop in and see him every couple of weeks when I had the time. I didn't tell you because you'd want to go and, no offense, Chief, but I didn't want you along with me."

"None taken. But let me get this straight: one of your best friends from high school is now in prison for harvesting weed?"

"Is ... was. Yeah, not one of the smartest guys you'd ever want to meet. I mean, he did a stupid thing. The guy had a gambling problem so he tried to work his way out of it by selling pot. Not too bright, huh?"

"Nope," Blair agreed. As they made their way towards Simon's office, however, he added quietly behind Jim's back, "But I'm sorry your friend is gone."

Jim turned to give him a grateful smile, then knocked on Simon's door and entered the office. Inside, Simon and another woman were waiting. "Uh, excuse me, sir..."

Simon nodded a greeting to his detective. "I've invited someone to sit in. Maggie Chandler, this is Detective Jim Ellison."

Banks then introduced the other member of his special team. "Blair Sandburg - he's a consultant to the department. Maggie was an Assistant DA when helped a certain rookie I know stumble through more than one minefield. Now she's with the State Board of Corrections."

Maggie shook hands with Blair, then turned her attention to Jim. "Tell me what you know."

Jim took a deep breath and began. "I have reason to believe an inmate was murdered at the Starkville facility and the authorities there are trying to cover it up."

She nodded again. "It struck us as odd that a model prisoner whose sentence had already been reduced would attempt an escape three months before parole."

"The doctor's report says that he was shot in the act. We recovered the body and performed our own autopsy. The ME confirmed the bullet wound, but determined a different cause of death," Ellison reported.

"The prisoner had ruptured kidneys and fractured jaw and ribs... Basically, he died of a massive brain hemorrhage."

Blair winced. Not only was the death unfair, but this was Jim's friend. It had to be hitting him hard. He was worried for his partner.

Chandler sighed. "I'm afraid this may just be the tip of the iceberg. There's been a high incidence of serious injuries and fatalities to the inmates at Starkville."

"Dr. Spenser at the prison contacted me. He was going to give me some files. He died on his way to our meeting in a car accident."

She continued. "After that, we sent someone undercover. A detective with the state police went in as a guard. He was stabbed by a prisoner before he could find anything."

Maggie added her two cents as she said, "Simon, we could transfer out anyone who might recognize Detective Ellison - any previous arrests..."

"That's not it! What if the authorities are involved? They'll find out who he is..."

"They won't," she denied. "We'll keep what we're doing in this room. No one else will know."

Simon sighed and rubbed his aching temples wearily as he looked at his best detective. "You really want this?"

A little while later, after the scenario had been set up, Jim and Blair left the office and MC so they could swing by Flannery's and then head home for the remainder of the afternoon. Someone would be by with Jim's folder of his assumed identity and what he would be going in for; all the usual criteria needed. Unfortunately for Blair, he hadn't been included in the undercover setup.

Jim shook his head vehemently. "Oh, forget it, Chief. You don't want to go near this place." He was already having nightmare visions of what the prisoners would do to this beautiful man walking beside him.

Blair wasn't ready to take no for an answer. After reading the journal, he knew from Jim's accounts what could happen in a prison. He didn't want his friend to face it alone. "Yeah, I know I don't want to go near it..."

"Besides," Jim cut in as they left the bullpen. "Simon already has my backup - some new recruit from Detroit. He's clean. Nobody in the jail's going to know him. He's gonna be teaching a creative writing course that I'll take as part of my cover."

They walked down the hallway heading for the elevator as Blair grumbled, "I don't like it, man. I mean, what if something happens to your senses? He's not gonna know what to do."

Jim whirled around to face his partner. "I'm gonna have to take my chances. Now if you go anywhere near that place, I'm gonna have to use your head as a football!" And with that, he gently smacked the younger man on his forehead and turned to lead the way back down to the parking garage.

Blair stood there for a long moment, then finally followed after his sentinel. Oh, no you don't, Ellison, he growled to himself, no way are you going in there without me. I'm your guide!

Two days later, Jim stood in line with some other prisoners, dressed in orange coveralls and chains and carrying his personnel file. He listened dispassionately as the guard, after the warden had talked to them briefly, got up on his high horse and affected a demi-god/drill sergeant attitude. Jim wasn't impressed. He'd seen it before and most of the time, the men acting as such were either cowards, bullies, drunk, insane, or all four.

A little while later, he was being processed through the medical facilities. He answered negative to all medical questions pertaining to diseases and tried to get cozy with the doctor, but she was too nervous to really get into it. He understood why when he saw a guard lurking by the window, staring malevolently at them.

When that was done, he was given a shaving kit and a spare uniform and shown to his new cell. "Home sweet home, huh?" he muttered as he began putting things away. Then his cellmate came in and Jim found himself facing a big bruiser of a black man by the name of Turner, according to the guard after the man had called out to him.

Turner crowded close to Jim and snarled belligerently, "What d'you think you're doin'?"

Turner wasn't quite finished yet. "I put down 16 years in here. You just don't walk into my crib and act all comfortable, punk."

Jim knew he'd have to show some backbone or the other prisoners would eat him alive. "The name's Curtis."

They briefly stared each other down and then Ellison gave in gracefully in the name of diplomacy. He couldn't afford to get the shit beat out of him now. "Look, man, I don't have a beef with you."

Turner moved closer and growled, "You get in my face ... we go to war." Then he and his entourage - who'd been watching the show - moved out of the cell and off down the hallway.

Later that evening as he lay awake on his cot, Jim focused his thoughts away from Blair and extended his hearing out to listen to the prison goings-on. He heard various conversations, sounds of pain, sounds of pleasure, lots of fucking. He mentally cringed away from those sounds and began sifting for anything that didn't particularly fit. He focused on the sounds of two guards dragging a man named Frazer out of his cell, claiming he was "on the list" and listening as Frazer protested to no avail as he was dragged off down the hall. He didn't hear anything else for a long time after that, so he finally gave in and slipped into a light doze, Army training snapping into place easily.

The next day, he was working in the metal shop when he overheard Turner and a Hispanic man named Camacho talking. Camacho claimed that Frazer had hung himself in his cell last night. When Jim said he'd heard Frazer get dragged out of his cell by two guards, Turner turned a glower on him and advised him not to "hear" anything. Jim shut up after that and then an order form tacked onto the bulletin board from Orangewood, Hardware, caught his attention. That was odd....

Later, after he'd finished his stint in the workshop, he headed out to the workout room. He watched as Vinson - a huge inmate with a mean-ass disposition - worked on the free weights. When Vinson got pissy about Jim looking at him, the sentinel mentioned all he wanted was to do time on the weights. Vinson declared he'd put Jim's eyes out if he caught Jim looking at him "like that" again.

That evening, after lights out, Turner warned him to watch his back around Vinson. Jim assured him that he'd take care of Vinson like he took out the cop he'd "killed". Turner snorted. "You took out a cop? I thought I was stupid."

Turner sighed. "Held up a liquor store. Dude was in the wrong place, man. So was I."

"Every year at my parole hearing, they trot out his widow. Long as she cries ... you can find me here."

Jim was about to continue the conversation, but noise from the other side of the prison yard attracted his attention. He got up, aware of Turner watching him, and looked through the bars on the window to see a group of people in the adjacent building yelling and screaming, as though they were at a wrestling match. Before he could focus too much more, a guard clanged on the bars of the cell and ordered Jim to lie down due to lights out. Jim did so, reluctantly, and then asked softly, "What's 'the list'?"

Turner refused to say anything else, so Jim sighed, closed his eyes, and tried to refrain from missing Blair too much.

The next day, though, he was more pissed off at Blair than anything else when he suddenly heard his friend's voice speaking to him from the head of the classroom he sat in. His head snapped up and he watched as Blair introduced himself and used his "teacher" persona, then called on Jim to "tell a story." It wasn't too hard for Jim to get snippy with the younger man.

"I was born, I killed a cop, I went to prison. The end," he snapped out sarcastically, and the other inmates cheered and whistled.

Blair gave him a "look" but continued teaching. It didn't surprise Jim in the least that some of the men in the room actually listened to the young teacher. It also didn't surprise him when he heard whispering behind him from two men who were detailing what they'd do with Blair if they ever got hold of him. It was all Jim could do to not leap up from his seat and beat the snot out of them then and there, and then grab Blair and run for safety.

Later, after the class, Jim stayed behind and cornered his friend. "What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed angrily. He'd already had a long day. He'd discovered that extra supplies were possibly being sold on a black market and that Vinson was targeting some guy named Liotta for not cutting him in on the profits from the overstocked drugs that were sold. Also, he'd tried to pump Turner for information about his friend, Matt, but Turner got suspicious, just as Liotta did when Jim questioned him about the drugs. So, to now find this beautiful young man willingly entering a prison like Starkville's ... it was not easing his blood pressure levels any.

Blair didn't back down. He merely leaned in closer to his partner. "Your guy from Detroit had an emergency appendectomy, so I volunteered. Banks said no, of course, so I got Maggie Chandler to talk him into it. So here I am. I'm your new contact."

"All right, look for the laundry bag from cell block 'B' marked 'Curtis.' You got that?" he snapped. He was not happy with this, not at all. When he got out of there, he was going to tear Simon a new asshole for sending his partner in. What the hell was Banks thinking?!

A guard came up the hallway just then and stopped to look into the room. When he saw Jim and Blair talking, he rapped on the door with his billy club. "Beat it! School's over."

"No problem," the younger man replied. He glanced up to see Jim mouthing "I'm okay" before Jim turned and left the room. The guard looked at Blair a moment before he left as well.

Blair sighed and gathered up his material. It was the only class he had to teach that day, so he went looking for the exit. It wasn't until he saw her that he realized the person ahead of him was Dr. Wilder. He tried to chat her up in the interests of getting information from her, but a guard materialized at the end of the hallway, spooking her into stating that she didn't socialize at work and leaving. Blair glanced from the retreating doctor to the guard, certain that something screwy was up. Well, the only thing left to do was to go find Jim's note. It didn't take too long, only an hour and a half, and he slipped out of the laundry room as quickly as he'd gone in. After sleeping restlessly for most of the evening, Blair sat in an unmarked cop car from the PD motorpool and read Jim's note over his cell phone to Simon. "Okay, Jim saw trucks taking frozen meat from the kitchen and hardware items are sold retail. Stuff the prisoners are working on. He thinks there's some black market going on. You know, I could go check out some of their delivery routes."

Simon immediately denied him. "No, that sounds like detective work. Do I need to remind you that you are there to receive Jim's dispatches. That is all I signed you on for. All right?" And with that, he hung up.

Blair hung up the cell phone in disgust, then, against orders and rational judgement, he followed a meat van as it left the prison yard. Before too long, it pulled in at a restaurant and he watched as a transaction for three sides of beef was completed. He also saw Dr. Wilder heading into the restaurant to eat and decided to join her. After he'd gotten agreement from her to sit with her, he began chatting companionably.

"It's good to get outside those walls once in a while, isn't it?" he asked casually.

She sighed and shook her head. "Truth is, you never really get away from it. This is a real company town."

"I know what you mean. You wouldn't imagine where this place gets its beef from."

Wilder simply looked at Blair. Outside the window, a red van pulled up and two men got out. Wilder flinched, attracting the young man's attention. When he glanced at her questioningly, she turned away from the window. "I'm sorry I'm so jumpy."

There was a long pause as she came to a decision. Finally, she said quietly, "I treat some injuries ... from beatings - bad beatings. And knife wounds. And I'm not talking about homemade shivs. These are wounds from hunting knives."

The waitress came by then and they ordered their meals, then chatted amiably about other things. It wasn't until they were leaving that Wilder suddenly got talkative about the prison again. They were walking to their cars, watching as people got into the red van. The prison guard that had interrupted him and Jim earlier was there and Blair looked away, careful not to attract the man's attention.

Wilder did the same, although she murmured softly, "The guy driving the van? Douglas? He's a prison guard."

Blair made a quick decision. "I'll tell you what. I'm giving you my cell phone number. You call me anytime. I'll be in touch." He gave her the number and then she hurried off to her car. He watched her drive away and then the red van pulled out. Another van followed it. Blair headed back to his car to follow both of them.

Only a few more minutes until class. I can at least see him ... smell him ... hear him.

Jim wandered down a hallway, moving slowly so he wouldn't miss anything. As he came into view of Turner and Camacho, he heard the Latino telling Turner that he'd heard his name was on the list. Turner told him to keep it cool, but when Jim wandered up to them, Camacho took off.

Turner glowered down at him. "I recall giving you advice about asking questions."

"Back off. Hear what I'm saying? You got no idea." Turner turned away, moving off down the hallway.

Jim was getting ready to follow him, to question him again, but he heard Vinson's voice then, telling one of the other inmates that he was going to get that "squid-breath Liotta" right then. Liotta knew it. He took off running and Vinson barreled past Jim with a homemade shiv in his hand. Jim chased after them, but he wasn't in time since he had to deal with another inmate who attempted to block his way. When he arrived, Vinson was blatantly and smugly cleaning blood off the shiv with an evil smile and Liotta was dead on the floor, a gaping wound in his chest.

Vinson dropped the shiv on the floor and wandered off. Jim watched him go, hatred burning in his veins, and looked back down at Liotta. True, the man had been a criminal and had continued to be one in prison, but he was a smaller than average man who obviously couldn't fight back well. He had stood no chance against the hulking Vinson. Before he could get up and get out of the way, another inmate named Miller dropped next to him and whispered words that froze his veins. "You don't want any part of this. I know who you are ... cop."

Moments later, the guards cleared the room and the two of them walked out side by side. Jim didn't look down as they moved until Miller hauled him aside.

"I'm the guy you didn't count on. I'm the one who slipped under the radar. Name's Tig Miller."

"You busted my kid brother, Danny Ray Miller. A shootout. I was in the courtroom, front row. Every day I wanted to kill you."

Jim mentally growled from frustration. A lockdown was mandatory after every inmate upset such as a killing or riot. Now he would have no chance to talk to Blair face to face. "What do you want?"

Sure. And didn't it seem that he was always cutting deals with crooks? "What are you in for?"

"If you don't, every con in this place will know who you are," Miller promised, then let him go and walked away when the guards came through again.

Snarling filthy profanities in English and Quecha, Jim stalked towards his cell. He was going to have to hurry if he wanted to get a note to Blair, ASAP.

Hours later, Blair snuck into the laundry room. He'd already had enough to do. He'd met Wilder outside the prison and she had passed on her suspicions. An inmate had been murdered and they weren't letting her do the paperwork. She'd given him the files from a few other suspicious cases and he had asked for Dr. Spenser's file on his car accident. She was wary, wanting to know who he really was, but he simply told her he was a friend. Then, he'd caught a quick nap in his car only to be woken by Simon, calling to check up on him. He passed on the information Wilder had given him and Simon had told him to stick to teaching. He had no problem with that, but when he arrived at the prison, he found out that his writing class had been canceled due to needing more space for prisoner processing. Something smelled fishy, but he could deal with it.

Now, as he snuck into the laundry room, he found Jim's bag and the note inside. He pulled it out and snickered a little as he read: Making progress. Stay tuned. P.S. The food sucks here. Something in the back of his mind was shrieking that things were wrong, but he hushed it. He didn't have time to listen to paranoid suggestions from his brain.

It wasn't until later that he learned he should have listened. Jim never used "sucks". Later, Jim would tell him that Miller had found the real note, which had said, Been ID'd. Pull me ASAP.

Sneaking out of the prison, he made his way back to his car so he could make his report to Simon.

Jim wasn't having a very good day. During the evening, he'd heard Camacho being taken from his cell. He'd used a mirror to watch as the young Latino had walked down the hall, proud but terrified, like a man walking towards his death and knowing it. An hour later, Jim had watched from his cell window as Vinson had beaten Camacho to death in a caged ring while onlookers had cheered him on, betting heavily. He finally realized what Turner had meant by his cryptic remarks of staying away from "the list" and that the "prize bull was gonna eat him" if he didn't watch his back.

Now, as he wandered out into the yard to find Turner, he began to suspect that something had gone wrong with his note. He should have been pulled by now, but so far, no help was in sight. He made his way over to sit with Turner on the bleachers, who was reading a book.

"I know Camacho died in a fight last night with Vinson in a gym in front of an audience."

"Who are you, man?" Turner finally questioned him roughly. "Ever since you got here, you've been asking questions. Way too many questions. Just like this prison guard six months ago. Poking his nose around 'til he got shanked. Want to know why?" He stood, Jim joining him. "He was a cop. Yo, Curtis, you a cop? If you ain't, I got nothing to say to you. If you are, maybe I can help."

Jim walked around the yard and looked out the fence, then at the clock on the prison wall - 11:30 AM. He sighed. Something's gone wrong, I know it.

Outside the prison grounds at a parking lot in town, Blair pulled up in his car, surprised to see Simon waiting for him. He got out and walked over to join the other man. "Hey, Simon, what are you doing here?"

Simon puffed on a cigar. "I was a little bit nervous about leaving you on your own. Thought you might need supervision. What do you hear from Jim?"

"No. They canceled my class. Something about they needed more space to process in new prisoners."

"Canceled the class? I don't like that. Whole purpose of the class was so you'd have visual contact with Jim."

Blair shook his head. "I don't like it either, but you know what, I did see Dr. Wilder. She said she might be able to get Dr. Spenser's old files. Maybe that'll be enough and we can pull him. How long did Maggie say it would it take to get him out?"

Simon sighed and shrugged. "If Jim says he's okay, he's okay. Give him another 24 hours."

For the tenth time, Jim stood by the fence, scanning with hearing and sight to see if help was on the way. Finally, he had to acknowledge that no one was coming. A moment later, he heard Vinson whisper to a crony of his: "He doesn't leave the yard alive, Cooper. You got it?"

Fuck! Jim grumbled. I've got to get inside, try to lose them. Turning, he carefully made his way through the inmates milling around, aware of Vinson and Cooper stalking him.

They had all gotten near the door and the two inmates were about to make their move when suddenly, Turner and five of his own cronies showed up and surrounded Jim, protecting him. Jim stayed silent while Turner and Vinson argued.

"What's up, Turner? Bro? Me and Mr. 'Courtesy' here need to have a little talk about him getting in my business with Liotta."

Some of Turner's men shoved Vinson back while Turner and the others hustled Jim inside.

Inside, Turner stopped Jim and held him against the wall as he talked to one of the other inmates. "Thanks, man."

As the rest of inmates left, Jim realized that Turner had called in favors to keep him protected from Vinson. He didn't have a chance to mention it, though, as Turner took his arm and began propelling him down the hallway. "Keep moving. We're on our own now."

"Thought about what you said. About the parole board. You straight?" Turner asked quietly, though anxiously.

Turner nodded. "Here's what you got. High rollers driving in ten grand a pop to bet on the fights. Nobody who comes is going to say a word 'cause they're all accessories to violent crime."

"Vinson killed him in the ring. He was going to rat on the fights. Right now you got a bigger problem than making a case. Vinson's coming for you. You gotta get your people to pull you out."

Jim felt the anger and hatred that had been riding him for days now rise up in his heart and soul. Vinson. Should have known. Just another reason to gut that bastard. Aloud, he said to Turner, "I put out the word. Something must have gone wrong. I got to get out on my own somehow."

Turner shook his head again. "You're stuck. No way out. Unless..." He paused, thinking for a moment, then said, "I worked a crew that laid pipe down there. There're dozens of these tunnels and shafts all around the steam plant. You find the right tunnel, it's a straight run to the river."

Jim smiled. "Thanks, man," he said quietly, squeezed Turner's arm lightly, and walked off.

Much later that evening, Jim nodded good-bye to Turner as he quietly picked the lock and snuck out of their cell, pulling it quietly shut after him. He then hurried, jaguar-silently, down the hallways. He was concentrating so hard on avoiding the guards that he was startled when Miller appeared out of nowhere and hauled him aside.

Jim pushed the other man against the wall and snapped quietly, "Listen to me, Miller. You just stay cool. I told you I'd take care of you." Letting go, he kept walking.

Miller followed him. "Yeah, you're tryin' to leave me here. I will go right to the warden, man. I will rat you out."

Jim paused, considering it, and finally gave in reluctantly. "All right. You screw up and we're both dead. Now let's go."

They kept going until they got to the metal workshop. Jim typed in the code, opening the door as Miller watched, wide-eyed.

Jim didn't reply. Oh, sure, lemme tell you all about how I saw it from 50 yards away two days ago. No-o-o-o problem.

Unaware that the alarm had been tripped and that the guards were on to them, they entered the tool shed and Jim said, "Get the flashlight and the wire cutters."

Miller got them as Jim opened the hatch and climbed down inside. Miller followed him and they both went down into the steam tunnels. Jim looked one way, then the other, then listened for the river. Finding it, he said, "This way."

Miller handed Jim the wire cutters, then held the flashlight as Jim cut through the chain. The chain broke and Jim opened the gate just as two guards came into the tunnel from the entrance back where they'd come from.

The head guard and another guard - Douglas - appeared on the other side of Jim and Miller.

Miller immediately began squealing. "Mr. Burnette. Mr. Burnette, sir, there's some ... something I got to tell you about this guy."

Miller looked back at Jim who was being held by a guard. Then he looked at Burnette. He hesitated a moment, then took off toward the river.

Jim watched, knowing what would happen and only mildly ashamed of himself when he felt no remorse for it. As Miller ran, Jim watched as Douglas pulled out his gun. He said nothing as Douglas fired, hitting the prisoner in the back, and Miller fell to the ground. A minute later, Jim heard Miller's heart stop, his lungs collapse, and smelled his bowels release as death claimed the man.

Burnette then turned to Jim with an evil smile. "You're going to work a little harder to die."

Ellison said nothing as he was hauled away, only feeling sick that he might never see his partner again.

Forty-five minutes later, only a little roughed up, Jim watched as Turner was shoved into the small, solitary cell with him. "Vinson figure out you help me?"

Turner shrugged listlessly. "Same as Temple. Same as Camacho. Animals to the slaughter. I guess in the end it don't matter what you do."

"To get out of here quicker. I ain't a hero. I missed the redemption train a long time ago."

Turner shook his head, glaring angrily at Jim. "I should have never messed with you, man. I should have cut your ass the minute you rolled up into my cell."

Blair hurried to his meeting with Simon later that day. Something had gone dreadfully wrong, he knew it.

Blair shook his head, his worry clear. "No. They canceled my class - permanently."

Simon gaped, shocked. "What?! I don't know ... they caught onto something. Think they put you and Jim together?"

"They said she called in sick with the flu, but I went by her apartment - she's not there."

"Oh, this is no good." He hit the dial on his phone, then spoke into the radio piece. "Yeah, this is Captain Simon Banks. I need to talk to Maggie Chandler. San Francisco? Well, no, I need to talk to her now. No, tomorrow will not do! A policeman's life is at stake!"

Blair waited next to the captain's side, jittery and anxious with his need to get to Jim.

Jim dialed everything down as much as he could. He left touch and sight dialed only a little below normal. He would need to be able to see what was coming, feel his legs and to move his body around, after all. But all the rest of it was down way low.

As he took in the sight of Vinson yelling and playing to the crowds that surrounded the cage, pumped on adrenaline, Jim decided that he was going to need all the help he could get.

He was shoved into the cage and Vinson yelled, "Yeah! You're dead! Come on, baby. Come on!"

The brute force behind the first few punches and kicks stunned him before he could begin to muster enough cognizance to begin to retaliate.

Ten miles away, Simon and Blair waited as a SWAT van pulled into the parking lot. An officer jumped out and brought an envelope over to Simon. The tall captain took it and read through the contents, then bellowed, "We got the search warrant!"

The SWAT officer headed back to the van and Simon and Blair jumped into Simon's car and they all peeled out, racing for the prison.

Aware of the tension in the young man beside him, Simon growled, "He'll be okay, Blair. Just hang in there, okay?"

Inside the cage, Jim and Vinson were still fighting, and although Jim had gotten in a few hits, Vinson was winning. The larger man circled the dazed cop, taunting him. "Come here! Who's sweating bullets now? Yeah!"

"Come here!" Vinson bellowed and he grabbed Jim and slammed him to the ground. "Who's the man?" He then picked Jim up. "Come here! Get up! Get over here!" He hit the sentinel a few more times and then Jim rallied, nailing Vinson in the stomach and then kicking across his head. Vinson fell to the side and crawled over to the fence as the crowd booed. Douglas was standing on the other side.

Vinson went back to Jim who was waiting for him. Before the other man could react, he sprayed the pepper spray in Jim's face. The sentinel's sight immediately blurred and he squinted, trying to see, dialing down the touch sense around his face to numb the pain.

Vinson circled the other man, laughing. "How do you like me now, baby? You couldn't leave well enough alone."

I've had enough of this windbag, Jim snarled silently, and dialed up his hearing carefully. He used his hearing to track Vinson's movements and ducked as the larger man threw a powerful roundhouse kick up at him. He then rose up and punched Vinson with all his strength, knocking him out. Ellison punched him a couple more times on the ground for good measure.

Warden Hanlon clung to the cage, screaming at the oblivious Vinson. "Get up, you bastard! Get up!" When that didn't work, he turned to the guards. "Get him out of there! Get him the hell out of there!"

Douglas stepped in after him. "Get in here!" he ordered. He handed Jim and Turner each a long hunting knife, then left.

The two men began circling each other. Turner suddenly lunged and took a swipe at Jim. The cop moved away, shaking his head.

Turner stared at him, half crazed with desperation. "If we won't fight, they'll kill us." He swiped at Jim again. "I told you, man, I ain't no hero."

Turner grabbed Jim and held the knife above him. Jim simply stood there, too numb and too ill to really care or try anymore. Turner hesitated. The crowd was yelling. And then Turner slowly lowered the knife and dropped it.

Hanlon turned to leave. The SWAT team chose that moment to come busting inside, taking them all by surprise, disarming guards and anyone else who was packing. Inside the fighting area, Jim disarmed the guard in front of him.

The SWAT leader closed in on Hanlon and another guard. "Drop your weapon! I said, drop your weapon!"

Simon bulled in, heading for the fighting area and going inside. "Ellison! You all right?"

Jim stared at the towering figure of his boss. "Glad to see you, sir. Just get me the hell out of here," he croaked.

Blair hung back at the entrance to the fighting area, wanting to go to Jim but knowing he should stay back for the moment.

Jim turned and walked over to Turner, who was wearing handcuffs. "I'll see you at the parole board."

They exchanged a handshake and then Turner was taken away, passing Blair and Wilder who followed a few moments later. Blair spared one last glance for his sentinel, then allowed himself to be pulled out by Wilder, so he wouldn't be mistaken as one of the felonious betters in the crowd.

Simon looked his detective up and down, checking for other damage than the obvious. "They're going to do time in the same institution that they helped supervise. I know it doesn't make up for Matty, Jim."

Jim shook his head. "I was losing it, Simon. All the hatred ... it was just eating away at me." He didn't mention about how much he had wanted to see Blair, to be near him. Had needed him.

Simon sighed and reached for the other man. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

Ellison shrank back, not wanting to be touched right then. "I think I'm going to take a little walk. Sit out in the open somewhere. Any place without walls, huh?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned and stumbled out of the ring. A moment later, Simon hurried to catch up with him to provide an escort so the arresting police officers wouldn't mistake Jim for a criminal.

Blair saw them going by and he hurried to catch up, slipping out of the gate behind them. He was surprised when Simon stopped but Jim kept going. Moving up beside the captain, he looked worriedly from Jim to Simon and back again. "Simon...?"

"He needs open space right now, Sandburg. He wants to be away from places that have walls. Do me a favor and keep an eye on him...?" Banks murmured quietly.

Blair shot the larger man a look that blatantly said "well, duh" and moved to follow his sentinel, stopping long enough to collect a couple of blankets from one of the EMTs that were on the scene.

Sighing, Simon turned back to the mess that was currently the prison and put all his faith in one curly-haired anthropologist.

Blair followed Jim at a discreet distance, the full moon over head lighting the way as the two men left behind the paved concrete of the prison area and headed out into a field full of long grass and open space.

After a little while, until Blair could no longer see the lights from the prison, Jim stopped and took a deep breath. Then he sighed and without turning, raised his voice to call back, "I know you're there, Sandburg. What do you want?"

Biting his lower lip, the younger man walked up to join his friend. "Hi, Jim. Are you okay?"

Sandburg blinked at the unaccustomed harshness and then shook his head. "No, man, not really," he replied softly.

Jim snorted and finally looked down at him. In the moonlight that lit the open area bright as day, only shadowy and luminous at once, he looked like some sort of feral god that was looking down upon him haughtily, and so desirable that Blair's breath caught in his throat. When he saw the sentinel frown and glance down at his chest, the guide knew the larger man had noticed the increase in his heart rate. With a quick smile, he said, "Sorry, big guy. Just worried about you. Here. Wrap up in this." Carefully, he shook out one of the blankets and handed it over.

Ellison stared at it for a long moment before sighing and taking it from his partner and whirling it around his shoulders. He let it drape on him without holding it shut and simply stared out across the moonlit field.

Blair shivered slightly in the cold December evening air - thankful that there was no snow on the ground, for once - and then pulled his own blanket around his shoulders and stood side by side with his partner.

Long, silent minutes later, Jim cleared his throat and said tonelessly, "You can go back, Chief. I'm fine out here alone."

"I want to stay with you. I need to," Sandburg blurted, then looked down at the ground.

Blair sighed. "Because I was scared. Even though your note said you were making progress, we figured out that something had gone wrong and I didn't know if-"

"Wait a minute," Jim interrupted. "What do you mean, my note said I was making progress?"

"Jim, that's what the note in your bag - Curtis, block 'B' - said. To quote: 'Making progress. Stay tuned. P.S. The food sucks here.'"

Ellison shook his head angrily. "That bastard Miller ... he obviously found my original note and trashed it, then substituted the other one...."

"Jim, what do you mean? What are you talking about?" Blair asked, concerned and confused.

The sentinel sighed. "I was ID'd by another prisoner. A guy named Tig Miller. He apparently came in after I did. He was the brother of someone I had arrested and he'd gone to court, sat in the front row, and wished me dead every day of the trial. Tig was arrested and sentenced to prison for forgery, fraud, counterfeiting. He was the guy who came by to collect the dirty laundry. I had to make a deal with him: get him out by the end of the day along with myself, or every con in the prison would know who I really was."

Ellison nodded. "Yeah. I guess he saw me writing out that last note and switched it. I'm surprised you didn't catch it right away, Chief."

"Huh? What do you mean? The 'food sucks' attitude sounded just like-" Blair immediately cut off as he realized it wasn't the attitude, but the terminology that was suspect. Should have been suspect.

The larger man nodded again. "Ri-i-i-i-ight, Darwin. Since when have I ever used the word 'sucks'?"

The enormity of it slammed through Blair and the smaller man whimpered. "Oh, God."

Jim turned to face his friend at that, reaching out to hold his guide's shoulders firmly as he caught Sandburg's eyes. "Blair, listen to me. It's not that bad-"

"Not that bad? Christ in a miniskirt! Jim! I'm allowed to help because of my academic smarts, but I can't even catch that one little thing that's right under my nose! It almost got you killed!" Blair yelled.

Shaking Blair firmly, Jim shook his own head. "No, Chief, no! It was not your fault! Miller's plan worked the way it was supposed to. Hell, you showed it to Simon, right?" At Blair's nod, he continued. "There, see? Simon's known me longer than you have and even he didn't catch it. And you know Simon's a smart man. Okay? Don't take the blame for this one, Chief; it wasn't your fault. Things just happened the way they did." Letting Blair go, he turned to contemplate the field again.

After a few moments of silence, Blair finally ventured, "So, uh, what did happen, exactly?"

"He's dead. Lying in the tunnels below the tool shed in the metal shop," Jim said dispassionately. "I'm sure someone will find him before long. The guards who killed him might tell, or I'll tell Simon when we get back. See, I had found an escape route and was trying to break out earlier this evening. Miller caught me before I got too far, blackmailed me into taking him with me. If I tried to leave him behind, he would have gone straight for the warden. If I had knocked him out and tied him up, he would have been found and blabbed the whole thing and Hanlon would have had time to cover up his illegal activities. So, I took him with me. I'd seen Burnette, the head guard, enter the code for the tool shed a couple days ago, and knew I could access the tunnel system through there. He and I made it in and down to the tunnel that would lead to the river. Burnette and a few of the others caught us just as we cut through the gate. They held onto me, but Burnette told Miller to go before he changed his mind."

Blair turned to face his friend as Jim's voice went darker, hoarse and heavy. "What happened, Jim?" he asked, reaching to lay a hand comfortingly on the sentinel's shoulder.

"Douglas shot him. I knew it would happen. No way in hell would they let a prisoner escape, especially one that could bring down heat on them if he chose to. So he ran and I knew it would happen, and I did nothing. Never mind compromising myself and possibly being killed immediately if they knew I was a cop, but I didn't care if he was shot down in cold blood from behind. In fact, part of me rationalized that he was a no-good weasel who probably was wasted space anyway. It didn't bother me that he was killed so ... so defenselessly like that." Jim shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the image as he shuddered.

Sandburg stroked Jim's shoulder soothingly. "Jim, take it easy. Believe it or not, I can understand why you thought like that-"

"Oh, really! Well, Professor, do be so good as to enlighten me!" Jim shouted hoarsely, knocking Blair's hand away from him and turning on the younger man. "I'm a cop, Sandburg! I'm a policeman who cannot have that attitude when dealing with criminals! It is deadly and compromising to my duty! If I start thinking like that, I may as well kiss my shield good-bye!"

Blair called on his big brass ones and once again confronted his friend's fear and self-hatred head on. Grabbing Jim by the shoulders, he got up in the man's face as he said, "Jim, listen to me! I heard you tell Simon that the raw hatred of that place was eating at you. As a warrior and protector of the tribe, going in amongst a scavenger pack like that was forcing you to respond with base instincts. As a sentinel, yes, but also as a man trying to protect himself. The sentinel in you knows that enemies must be dealt with. Your self-preservation was in high gear and you were driven with the instinct of protect yourself at all costs! It is nothing to be ashamed of! All of us humans have that instinct! Anyone else would have done the same thing!"

Jim's look was bleak, but his voice was soft as he lifted his own hands and settled them gently on Blair's face. "Not you, Chief," he said quietly.

Jim's smile was tiny, but genuine. "Because you're compassionate. Too compassionate, sometimes." He sighed then and closed his eyes, suddenly extremely tired. "I ... part of what kept me sane was thinking of how much easier it would have been if you'd been there. And then that part of me would be going crazy knowing what would have been done to you within five hours of being processed through and I was so glad, so fiercely glad, that you had stayed out as much as you had."

"I couldn't just leave you in there, Jim. Couldn't leave you alone. I had to be with you as much as possible. You're my friend. I love you," Blair said quietly.

Sighing, Jim pulled his best friend close and snuggled him in a firm hug. He buried his face in those silky, beloved curls and breathed deeply. "Love you, too, Chief."

They stayed that way for a long while and then they parted slowly. Blair grinned shyly up at his friend and Jim felt his heart finally - finally - melt at the sight. He tucked a few strands of hair behind the smaller man's ear and took a step back. He glanced over the moonlit field and then motioned toward a small mound in the long grass. "C'mon, Chief. Let's sit down for a little bit. I'm not ready to go back yet."

"That's cool. I heard Simon tell a patrolman to stay nearby to take us home when we got back. He'll wait as long as he needs to," Blair replied as he moved to sit where his sentinel had indicated.

Wrapped up in blankets, they sat huddled side by side, looking out over the clear, cold, moonlit field. Eventually, Jim noticed that Blair was humming a soothing tune under his breath. Turning his head to look at his guide, he asked softly, "What is that?"

"You didn't. I like it. It's really, incredibly soothing after that hellhole. Would ... nah." Jim glanced away, slightly embarrassed. He looked back when he felt a hand on his arm and flushed slightly at the small, knowing smile and the warmth in Blair's eyes.

"All right. Bear in mind, it's originally sung by an Irish woman with a high voice and amazing pitch control, so forgive this attempt, okay?" Blair said with a grin.

Lovers in the long grass
look above them
only they can see
where the clouds are going
only to discover
dust and sunlight
ever make the sky so blue.
Afternoon is hazy
river flowing
all around the sounds
moving closer to them
telling them the story
told by flora
dreams they never knew.
Silver willows
tears from Persia
those who come
from a far-off island
Winter Chanterelle lies
under cover
Glory-of-the-sun in blue.
Some they know as passion
some as freedom
some they know as love
and the way it leaves them
Summer snowflake
for a season
when the sky above is blue
when the sky above is blue.
He hummed a few refrains and then continued.
Lying in the long grass
close beside her
giving her the name
of the one the moon loves
this will be the day she
will remember
when she knew his heart
was
loving in the long grass
close beside her
whispering of love
and the way it leaves them
lying in the long grass
in the sunlight
they believe it's true love
and from all around them
flora's secret
telling them of love
and the way it breathes
and
looking up with eyes of
amaranthine
they can see the sky
is blue
knowing that their love
is true
dreams they never knew

and the sky above is blue.

When the last note had died away, Jim turned to look at Blair fully and he smiled, the first wide smile he'd had in days. "That was beautiful. Thank you."

A little while later, Jim got to his feet and stretched, then turned and held out a hand to his companion. "I'm ready, Chief. You?"

Wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders, the sentinel turned and began leading the way back to where a patrolman had sat waiting for them for the better part of two hours.

Walking into the loft, Jim breathed a shivering sigh of relief. The heat was on and though walls once again surrounded him, they were familiar, comforting walls, covered as they were in picture frames and anthropological artifacts.

Blair walked in behind his friend, shutting the door quietly. He then moved over to the balcony doors and opened them a crack so the sentinel could feel the cool air and realize he was, in fact, free. Turning with a smile, he said, "Go on and take a hot shower if you want to, man. I left plenty of hot water. What do you want to eat?"

Ellison stared at the younger man, his heart overflowing with warmth. God, how did I get so lucky with a friend like him? Always wanting to help me ... he's so wonderful. Smiling slightly, Jim shrugged out of the borrowed blanket and said, "A shower sounds great, Chief. To eat...? Um, what's easiest to whip up quickly?"

"Omelet or our perennial favorite: stir-fry. Beef, this time. I planned ahead and figured you might be hungry for some real food, so I splurged on beef cubes," Blair said with a grin.

Laughing, Blair headed into the kitchen after hanging up his jacket. He'd handed back the blanket he'd used at the prison, so that was all taken care of. Gathering up the ingredients, he did the quickest cooking of his life so when Jim emerged from the shower about forty-five minutes later, trussed up in his favorite dark blue robe and toweling his short hair dry, a plate heaped high with steaming, delicious-smelling food waited for him, along with a refreshingly cold beer.

Jim grinned at his friend delightedly. "Chief, you're the greatest." He sat down after draping the towel around his neck, picked up the fork, and dug in, savoring the taste of the beef and beans and sauce as he chewed.

Blair smirked. "I already knew that." Walking around behind Jim, he picked up the towel and began to soothingly rub Jim's hair with it, massaging lightly through the fabric.

Ellison's eyebrows winged up. "Blair? What are you - oooowaahhhhh..." he groaned, his muscles going partially limp - staying firm enough that he didn't land face down in his plate - as the sensation spread through his tired body.

"Clearly, I'm relaxing you. You don't mind, do you? I'm sorry, I never thought to ask you if you wanted to be touched right now." The younger man paused in his disguised caressing and waited for an answer.

"If you stop now, Sandburg, they will never find your body," Jim groaned, arching back into the soft towel and soothing hands.

Blair snickered and continued his ministrations. "Okay, okay. Eat up, big guy. You need to get some protein into you and then rest up."

Blair smiled and then abandoned the towel, knowing that Jim's hair was as dry as it was going to get. He slid his fingers through the soft, silky hair and smiled when he heard the hum of contentment that drifted from the older man as he consumed his dinner. Ever so carefully, he massaged Jim's scalp until he could see the goose bumps roughening the sentinel's skin and the man's head was all but lolling as though he hadn't a bone in his neck. Moments later, Blair noticed that Jim had finished his dinner and his beer and was wilting in his chair even as the younger man slid his hands down inside the collar of the robe and began kneading the slightly tense shoulders.

"MMMMmmmm," Jim moaned happily and straightened up a bit so his muscles wouldn't pull taut.

Blair smiled. "Good. Would you like a foot rub, too, or would that be too much?"

"You put yourself through hell for your friends, again. And you deserve to be spoiled, Jim. You've taken care of so many people; let someone look after you, for a change."

Ellison twisted in his seat, and then stood so he could look at his partner. "You've always taken good care of me, Blair. I know that much, at least. You're ... the best thing's that ever happened to me. My best friend."

"Blair?" Concerned now, Jim cupped Blair's chin and one cheek in his palm. "Chief? What is it? What's wrong?"

God, this can't wait, Blair thought, looking up at his concerned friend. I can't let him go on thinking that when I've invaded his privacy like I did. I wish I could just let it go, let him think my falling in love with him just happened - well, it did, I was too blind to realize it without help, though - when I know better.

The smaller man sighed. "I'm ... okay, Jim. But there's something I gotta show you ... gotta do. Would you go sit on the couch, please? And ... don't dial up your hearing, okay?"

The sentinel gave his guide a hard look. "Chief, if there's something wrong, I think you should tell me now, not go through a whole bunch of-"

Ellison sighed and nodded. "Fine. I'll be waiting on the couch, with my hearing dialed down." So saying, he turned and made his way into the living room and settled tensely on the sofa. He heard Blair go padding over to the stairs and then go up, which surprised him, but he kept his promise and stayed dialed down to normal human level.

Staring out the balcony window, his jaw clenched, Jim tried to control the pounding of his heart. This is it. This is where he tells me he's leaving. That he's going to be with another man. That it's been swell, Jim, but it's time for him to go...

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he almost didn't notice when Blair walked up to stand beside him. He blinked and looked up. "Chief?" he murmured, noticing that Blair held something behind his back. Out of respect, he didn't cheat and use the reflection in the balcony doors to learn what it was.

Blair took a deep breath and began, not quite meeting his friend's eyes. "Okay. Before I do what I have to do, I want you to know something, Jim. I love you. Not just as a friend, but I'm in love with you. And I have been for a while. You are the man I want to initiate a relationship with."

A look of wonder stole across Jim's face. "Blair," he breathed. "I don't get it. I mean, you say you love me, but you're upset? If you think that I don't love you-"

Blair shook his head. "No, Jim, that's not it. I ... know you love me. And that's part of what I'm getting at. See, I hadn't realized I was in love with you until it was made apparent to me by ... something I'd done. I'd been content to think of us as friends, mainly because I've never been in love before. Not like this. Not this deeply." He met the other man's eyes, his gaze completely open. "God, Jim, I've never felt so much love for anyone before like I feel for you."

Warmth exploded through the sentinel's heart and his body tingled with it. "Blair," he said softly, his own expression becoming tender.

Sandburg closed his eyes. "Oh, please don't look at me like that," he whispered as he opened his eyes again.

"What's wrong is how I came about realizing it. See, I've done something I most probably shouldn't have, but it was with the best of intentions, not that that matters. It was probably still wrong and I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for it. I know you're gonna be mad; go ahead and kill me if you want." With that, he brought the object out from behind his back as he turned his gaze away. "I'll understand," he added in a tiny, pained voice.

Jim Ellison stared hard at his journal clutched firmly in his guide's hands. One second and two blinks later, he looked up at the subtly shivering young man and said quietly, "You read my journal."

Jim swallowed hard as he fought for control. His tone was flat when he said, "I should think, Sandburg, that you know me well enough by now that you could have come to me and asked me anything you wanted to."

Blair turned miserable eyes on his friend. "But, Jim, that's just it. I've tried. I've tried so many times before and every time, I have to fight with you - sometimes for days - in order to get you to open up. I found your journal by accident and ... and the desire to know you, to finally learn your feelings and what you think and why you do things was so overpowering.... God, you just don't know. All I could think was: 'If I get to know him so well, I'll be able to do more to help him without having to fight him for it.' I swear to you, Jim, that's all it was. I wanted to know you so I could be a better friend, a better guide to you, more help than I have been. I know, it really doesn't excuse what I did; I doubt anything ever will. But that's why I did it. And then as I read, and discovered your feelings for me, it ... helped me. Helped me put a name to what I'd been feeling for so long. I realized I'm in love with you, too, but I'd been too stupid to understand it." He stopped talking and took a deep breath. "I'll ... I'll understand if you never want to see me or speak to me again."

"Is that what you want?" Jim asked quietly, fighting to keep a tight rein on his anger.

Jim sighed, feeling a headache beginning to pound at his temples, negating the relaxation Blair had provided for him earlier. He stood slowly and walked around the coffee table and moved to stand in front of the still cracked open balcony doors.

Blair turned to watch him silently, hoping beyond hope that he hadn't just screwed everything up.

After a few moments, Jim sighed again and, without turning, he said, "I need to think about this, Sandburg. Just ... leave me alone for right now, okay? Leave me alone."

Blair swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded silently. He gently lay the journal down on the sofa cushions, then turned and went to the coat rack by the door. He began pulling on his heavy jacket and scarves and gloves. "I'll ... I'm gonna go take a walk." He opened the door.

Blair took that warning as he was meant to. Namely, that he come home at some point. Being that it was midnight, he knew he wouldn't be out long. Nodding, he said, "Right. Will do." And then he was gone.

Jim listened to his guide leave the building and watched from the balcony doors as he headed off in the direction of the park they lived near. He grit his teeth harder at that, but knew he couldn't tell Blair where to go, even if he didn't like his friend going there at night. Hopefully, it was too cold for muggers to be out. Even so, he kept his hearing trained on the younger man automatically as he went upstairs to get changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt, plus socks and comfortable sneakers, in case he had to go anywhere. Then he went back downstairs and sat on the sofa again, picking up his journal and staring at it.

It makes perfect sense now, he thought ruefully. Why he suddenly got so intimate and affectionate with me while I was gone. I've gone to conferences before and he never got like this. Now I know why. And here I thought he'd come to HIS senses and absence had made the heart grow fonder. Guess not.

Another tiny voice in his head had something else to say about it, however. But he said that he loves you. You listened to him - all of him -with those ears of yours. You know he's not lying. He adores you. Does it really matter how he found out?

Yes! he snarled. This journal represents my most private inner thoughts. If he wanted to know them that badly, he should have come to me, not invaded my privacy like that.

Weren't you listening? He wouldn't have HAD to if you would just TALK to him once in a while without making him fight you for it. What's so wrong with simply talking with him?

And that would be a bad thing with him how? If not him, who can you lower your shields with?

See? Let him in. If he's loved you and cared for you before now, before he knew he was in love with you, just think of how much more it will be if you let him in now that he does love you that way.

Jim remained silent. He thought long and hard about it, right up until he fell asleep.

Knocking on the door woke Jim up a few hours later. He sat up from where he'd slumped over on the couch.

"Jim?" His friend's voice was soft and almost timid on the other side of the door. "Are you there? I forgot my keys, man. Please?"

He heaved himself up and stumbled on the carpet, then went to look at the clock in the kitchen. Jesus, it's almost three in the morning! he grumbled silently.

"Jim?" A sigh. "All right. I'm ... I'll be at my office." He heard Blair turn and start to leave.

With two mighty leaps, Jim was at the front door, unlocking it, jerking it open, and leaning out to grab Blair's arm and yank him roughly inside. He shut the door and re-locked it, ignoring the startled yelp from his partner. When at last he turned and looked down at the other man, he mumbled roughly, "Sorry, Sandburg. I was asleep."

"Oh." Blair pinked for a moment, then glanced down at his feet. "I ... I don't know what else I can say, Jim. I'm sorry for invading your privacy and for upsetting you. I do love you. But if you can't ... I mean, if you want, I'll start looking for another place, I promise. I can be out of here in no time-"

Jim reached up and placed one hand firmly over Blair's mouth, halting the flow of words. When the startled young man looked up at him, questions in his blue eyes, Jim nodded. "Easy, Chief. I don't want you to leave. I believe we had a few conversations about this while I was gone...?"

Blair's puzzlement showed clearly in his eyes, but he left the question unvoiced since Jim's hand was still over his mouth.

Ellison sighed. "Yes, I still want you to stay. Truth is, it would kill me if you left me. I don't mean senses-wise. I mean my heart. This is going to sound corny, Chief, but if you go, you'll be taking my heart with you and we both know a body can't survive without one. Even if people have said for years now that's exactly what I've been doing. Or, if I had one, it was nothing but ice."

Blair shook his head, dislodging Jim's hand. His eyes were soft as he looked up at his friend. "Then they didn't bother to get to know you very well, Jim. It's readily apparent to anyone who loves you that you're a good man, that you care about people. I knew that much when you let an obnoxious, flighty hippie punk like me into your home."

Jim smiled. "My home needed a bit of sprucing up. Or, in this case, sprucing out." He sighed then and rested his hands on the smaller man's shoulders. "Blair, I'll be honest, okay? I don't like what you did, or how you went about it. But your reasons for it soften that considerably." When Blair looked up at him, he said, "I understand what your reasoning was. I suppose if I were in your shoes, I would have been fed-up by now, too."

"Not fed up, Jim. That would imply giving up. I would never give up on you," Blair said quietly.

"I know. But I also know I haven't made things easy for you. And I can't promise I'll change right away, if I can change at all."

"I wouldn't expect it of you. I love you now, Jim. I'll love you whichever way you decide to be if that's what you truly want."

Jim closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he found Blair standing close to him, asking, "Jim? What is it?"

"So?" The word was barely whispered, merely a breath of response. "What are you waiting for?"

Jim tightened his grip on Blair's shoulders and pulled him even closer, until they stood pressed together. He looked down in to darkened blue eyes at point-blank range and was lost.

Blair could feel Jim's breath on his mouth, they were so close. His eyes searched Jim's as the other man's thumbs rubbed luxuriantly over his shoulders through the fabric of his coat.

Their eyes moved down to look at each other's mouths, their lips parting slowly in silent invitation to each other. Blair had thought a lot about Jim's mouth since he'd discovered Jim's hunger for him as well as his own hunger for Jim. He looked closely at the chiseled perfection of his sentinel's mouth; the hard, firm lines of those lips with the light dusting of stubble above the upper one where he needed a shave. It was exciting to feel Jim's breath mingling with his own, to see the other man's mouth so close to his. For most of the week, now, he'd wondered how it would feel if or when Jim kissed him. A tiny part of him had been apprehensive, but the rest of him hungered for it.

Jim's hand suddenly reached up and dug itself into the thickness of his curly hair and pulled his head back. The sentinel's eyes glittered down at him; Jim's nostrils flared as he took in his guide's scent. He watched the younger man's mouth unblinkingly, trying to adjust himself to the fact that he was finally about to taste his friend.

Blair waited breathlessly, resting securely and trustingly in the other man's grip, knowing that Jim would not intentionally hurt him for anything. He felt Jim's strong, hard body pressed against his, warm as a blast furnace and firing a hunger in him that made him weak and shaky, while at the same time making his cock so hard he was sure he could drill a hole through a wall with it. Arching slightly, he found it in like company with Jim's, who met his with a low moan that slid between those firm lips.

Jim slid his hands down until he could grip Blair's ass firmly, holding him tightly against his lower body. "Open your mouth and fit it to mine," he whispered roughly.

Blair nodded silently and did as he ordered, letting his lips part a little bit more as he lifted himself up closer. He sucked in a quick, shallow breath and then pressed his lips exactly to Jim's hard, open mouth.

They both gasped as exquisite sensation rippled through their bodies. Hands clutched at each other, molding their bodies tighter together as their mouths slowly increased the intimate pressure.

When they finally parted for air, Jim gasped, "Oh, God ... so good, baby. You taste so good, you feel even better...."

"You ... Jim ... amazing," Blair garbled, his brain a little fried with the intensity of the emotions and sensations roaring through his body.

The sentinel laughed huskily. "Glad you approve. Blair ... baby, wanna go upstairs?"

Jim grinned, delighted. "Then let's go. I want you there." Dropping his hands to Blair's ass, he cupped it and lifted, signaling his partner to lift his legs.

Being an intelligent person even if his brain was half-baked from lust and love, Blair understood and he hopped up and wrapped his legs around Jim's hips. He flashed a wild grin at his friend. "By all means. Home, James."

It was a miracle that Jim didn't kill them both when he went charging across the living room and up the stairs to the loft bedroom at a high rate of speed.

Laughing, Blair found himself pressed down on the big bed with his sentinel atop him, holding him down. He grinned up at the other man. "Little anxious, are we?"

Jim gave his partner his very best frustrated look. "Yes, I am, as you well know," he replied sternly, but the love in his blue eyes belied the rude words. When Blair faltered for a moment, shame creeping into his eyes even as he turned them away, Jim cupped one side of that beloved face in one of his hands and turned Blair back to face him. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Believe me, I'm not regretting a moment of this. If it took reading my journal to help you realize how you feel about me, I'm not angry at all!"

"That's my Jim," Blair purred as he wound his arms around his new lover's neck. "Always find the silver lining, don't you?"

"Um, well, when pertaining to you, I kind of have to, or I wouldn't have survived this partnership," Jim confessed with a shy smile.

"Shut up, I'm cataloging your virtues. As I was saying, boisterous and energetic and incredible and insane - but a good insane, not like some of these wacko, psycho-killers we end up chasing - and playful and inquisitive and kind of frustrating, sometimes-" Jim muttered as he leaned up and began the process of disrobing his lover.

"And you love me anyway. But aren't I pretty enough for you?" Blair asked teasingly, even as Jim flung his jacket, scarf, gloves, oversized flannel shirt, form-fitting flannel shirt, and long-sleeved T-shirt over the railing to the floor below.

Jim grinned as he reached for the short-sleeved T-shirt that was all that was left on the smaller man's upper body. "Oh, you're more than pretty enough for me, Blair, sweetheart," he said teasingly. "In fact, you look downright delicious." He proved it, once the T-shirt was removed, by looking at the younger man for a long moment, then leaning down and suckling the nipple that had the ring in it.

Blair cried out and arched up, his hands going to Jim's head and holding him there.

Jim chuckled and switched his attention to the other nipple a few moments later. After laving it sufficiently to the point when Blair hotly demanded that they both get naked "like yesterday, man!", Jim happily got to his feet and quickly removed his own clothing, shortly followed by the last of Blair's. When they were both nude, he spent a few precious moments looking down at his sexy lover, cataloguing the visual delights of an aroused Blair Sandburg. When the younger man's expression turned shy and pleading a few moments later, Jim felt his heart melt all over again.

"Please, Jim?" Blair breathed softly, holding up his arms to his sentinel lover.

Jim smiled. "If I survive this, it's going to be a frigging miracle." Bending, he kissed his partner thoroughly, lovingly, and then slid down, getting right to the point. Smiling again, he then took the hardened, leaking cock into his mouth.

"Oh, God, Jim..." the younger man moaned and stretched his arms out, clenching his fingers into the sheets.

Pleased, the older man began to move his mouth up and down the straining erection, sucking and licking with firmness, delicacy, and exquisite care and control until Blair's hips were moving involuntarily, rolling the large cock in and out of Jim's hot, moist mouth. A moment later, the sentinel took hold of those hips, stilling his lover, and then wrapped his lips around the tip of the needful organ and sucked gently, teasing his tongue around the slit, lapping up the pre-ejaculate that spilled forth.

"Jim!" Blair gasped, feeling his orgasm building strength. "Too much - gonna come!"

"Then do it, Chief," Jim responded with a loving smile as he released his lover's aching cock. He glanced up, letting his guide see the naked truth of his love for him, and said, "I want you to. I want to have that from you. For as long as you'll let me."

Blair lay back on the bed, his legs parted, and gazed down the length of his body at his love as Jim knelt between his legs. He smiled and then howled as Jim once again took his penis into his mouth and began the loving, lustful rhythm all over again until finally, Blair pulled a pillow over his face, bit it harshly, and screamed his pleasure into it even as he emptied his seed frantically down Jim's throat.

Ellison swallowed it all, savoring the taste of Blair's pleasure now that he finally had it. When it was done and no more was forthcoming, he regretfully let go of his partner's cock and sat up. He grinned at the sight of a panting, disheveled Blair who was clearly trying to get himself under some semblance of control, the pillow having been flung away in need of air.

When Blair opened his eyes, it was to see a triumphantly grinning Jim Ellison staring down at him hotly, pride and love and lust mixed together in his gaze. He dropped his own gaze to look at the monster erection the older man was sporting. Licking his lips, he said, "I want you in me, Jim."

The sentinel blinked, his expression suddenly stunned and a trifle nervous. "Blair ... I ... you're not ... we haven't..." he stammered, wanting what his love was offering, but terrified of hurting him.

Figuring out his partner's dilemma, Blair smiled and said softly, "I practiced for you, as soon as I realized how much I love you."

Ellison blinked again. "You ... oh, Blair, you couldn't have. You don't mean what I think you..."

Leaning up so he could press a kiss to Jim's lips, Blair nodded. "I did. I practiced stretching myself for you. I won't be freaked out by anything sliding into me. I won't be hurt. I want you, Jim. Please?"

A ferocious snarl was the sentinel's reply and the guide found himself suddenly consumed by a voracious mouth and he devoted all his energy and concentration to giving back as good as he got, and what he got was very, very good.

Blair shuddered under the assault of hands and teeth and lips that traversed the width and length of his body. He mewled and begged and demanded and threatened until Jim deftly flipped him over, spread his cheeks, and suddenly, his tongue was there.

Jim smiled and dialed down his ears to avoid the multi-frequency audio-harmonic assault that erupted from his lover.

The younger man bucked and writhed as much as he could, Jim's hands gripping his hips tightly, as the older man's tongue bathed and penetrated him skillfully, driving him nearly to the point of insanity. He had enough presence of mind to gasp out, "How ... did you get ... so good...? Have you ... been with a ... man?"

Ellison retreated from Blair's body with one last lick and as he lifted himself and leaned over to retrieve a tube of lubricant from his bedside table, he replied, "No. Merely a lot of practice with the women I've gone out with."

Blair turned and fixed his lover with a heated glare. "Your days with them are over, James. You're mine now."

Jim smiled gleefully. "Good. I have to be honest, I'd be heartbroken if it were otherwise."

Blair growled and rolled over onto his side, snarling a repeat of his "ownership". Jim chuckled and quickly spooned up behind him. He lubed one finger and then cuddled close. "Ready, baby?" he breathed softly into Blair's ear.

Sandburg nodded and held onto the arm that Jim had wormed beneath him. He relaxed and soon Jim's finger entered him easily enough. He sighed as the very faint sting eased and before too long, the second and third fingers had joined the first one and were stroking smoothly in and out of his body. He tensed when he heard Jim say, "Want to go for a fourth?"

"You saw the size of me. You make the call. I'll still go slowly with you, either way," Jim replied.

The older man lubed and then gently inserted a fourth finger, stopping when his partner suddenly went tense. "Blair?"

"It's ... tight. Hold up a minute," the younger man said quietly, his teeth clenched.

Jim nodded and held still, waiting patiently. Finally, after a long few minutes, Blair relaxed and nodded his consent. Jim worked the fourth finger in deeper beside the others, paused for another few moments, and then began to pump gently in and out of Blair's body. He nudged his lover's prostate gland repeatedly, eliciting a few wild shouts. It wasn't until Blair demanded that he replace the fingers with something else that he finally withdrew.

Lubing his cock generously, Jim then spooned up close to his lover again. He placed a gentle kiss to the corner of Blair's jaw and whispered, "Here I come, baby. Ready?"

Gripping tightly to Jim's arm, Blair nodded. "Yes. I want you. I love you so much."

"Me, too, Blair. Me, too." With that, Jim gently began pressing in. When the head of his dick slipped in with a soft pop, Blair stiffened in his arms and he held still, quivering with the effort not to press further in.

Sandburg shuddered, feeling as though he'd bitten off more than he could chew. Jim's cock felt huge ... and that was just the head of it! A few moments later, he took a deep breath, then relaxed and pushed backwards, letting Jim slide another inch or two inside him. They repeated this process over and over until finally, Jim was totally inside him. They lay quietly for a few moments, Jim stroking and petting his lover, scattering kisses across his shoulder and the side of his face and his neck, and Blair struggled to accommodate all the sensations battering him. Finally, he relaxed enough that Jim felt it safe to begin a slow thrusting, and so he did, stroking slowly out, then back in, then out, then in again in a tantalizing motion.

The sentinel let his head drop back a little, his eyes closed at the utter deliciousness of the sensation. "Oh, God," he whispered, his hand creeping around to fist his partner's cock. "Being inside you ... it's like a miracle.... I wanted this for so long..."

"I love you!" Blair gasped, eyes closed, nearly mindless. It felt so good ... how could he have never thought to try pleasure like this...? And in the next instant, he was fiercely glad that he hadn't, so he could give his lover this gift.

Jim trembled slightly as he buried his face in his partner's hair, inhaling deeply of that beloved scent.

Blinking, concerned, Jim looked down at the younger man as he held still inside him. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"

Blair shook his head and grinned. "No. But I want to be looking at you while we make love. I want to see your face."

Ellison smiled as heat shot through him and then he pressed a tender kiss to Blair's neck. "Okay. Deep breath and hold still...."

Blair did so and within moments, Jim had withdrawn from his body and he was carefully eased over to lie on his back. He spread his legs wide and grinned up at his lover when Jim moved to kneel between them.

Blair knew the older man wasn't talking about the change in position. His grin softened and he said, "Yes. I've had days to think about it, and every day my desire for this, for you, got stronger. I want this, Jim. Only with you."

Jim smiled then and he leaned down to kiss the younger man thoroughly. Then he shifted closer and lifted those muscular legs up to wrap around his hips as he moved forward, urging the wonderful connection he craved with the man he loved most in the world.

The sentinel smiled down as he positioned himself and was gripped by a wave of emotions - unutterable gratification, violent flattery, amazed love, and unbearable need - emotions primitive and deep and almost too much to endure. He felt the love-lust building in him again, wanting him to simply drive in and take and take and take until neither of them could take any more, yet instead he held back. Now he guided his penis with delicious, careful slowness into Blair's wanting, waiting, welcoming body, feeling the tight, hot clasp on his erection once more, and moaned softly. He filled the younger man with his engorged cock, hard in that prolonged hardness that always lasts so much longer than anything fleeting, and he kept it there, plugging his lover full of him, while he toyed with Blair's cock.

One hand cupped and squeezed the heavy balls while the other manipulated the shaft with a firm up-and-down motion of firmly increasing pressure and swiftness. The rest of his body made no move at all. He stayed still, kneeling between those muscular thighs that gripped his hips hard, his cock buried inside his lover's body, and watched as Blair's head thrashed from side to side. The beloved face contorted as his guide writhed on the shaft filling him, beneath the hands that tormented him, reaching for his orgasm with a desperate need that surprised the both of them.

Whenever Jim sensed his lover was close, he took his hands away, only putting them back when Blair had forced himself to lie still again, impaled on his penis, mouth open in an unuttered plea for fulfillment. Finally, oh finally it was too much for either of them and Jim surged forward, locking his mouth over his lover's and kissing deeply as he thrust hard and quickly into the taut, straining body. His hand, still gripping Blair's shaft, squeezed and stroked, forcing his partner over the edge.

A raw howl burst from Blair's throat and he arched up, his muscles clenching hard, so hard, around the cock in his body as he spurted into his lover's stroking hand. He shuddered, and even as he felt consciousness recede from him, he heard an answering yowl and warm wetness flooded his body, a lean, muscular form collapsing atop him and trembling helplessly.

Blair found enough strength to wrap his arms around his lover and roll them onto their sides. Then, a bare second later, he was deeply asleep.

Jim grinned breathlessly, smoothed the damp, curly hair away from his lover's face, pressed a kiss to the lax lips, and followed the younger man into sleep.

Jim sighed as he felt pressure ghosting over the scars on his right hip and upper thigh. Ordinarily, he would have felt the tracing of the fingertips that passed over his skin, but the scar tissue was dead nerves; he couldn't feel much beyond pressure. "I can't tell you."

Wrapping his arms more securely around his partner, Jim stared up through the skylight at the morning light outside. Dawn had risen while they had napped. It was only half an hour ago that Jim had gotten up and gone downstairs to brew fresh coffee, then bring back two cups when it was done. Now, he shook his head slightly. "No, because it was a Ranger training mission. I can't reveal any of the particulars."

"Because the training scenario was in direct correlation to a later mission. No ties."

"So don't tell me the particulars, which I'm assuming are the people involved other than you, where it happened, and why you were doing it. Right?"

Jim was silent as he played with his lover's long, curly hair, then sighed again. "Okay. Well, me and my unit at the time were training for a possible upcoming mission. Remember how I told you the ocean looks big at night? Big and scary? Well, that's when our training routine was done. We were dropped by helicopter into the ocean a couple miles out from shore and our task was to swim through the 'course' that was set up. Only, we had been dropped at twilight, just as dark was falling. Prime feeding time for sharks. The CO who set up the training run had obviously done his research and knew that, but he'd also researched the animal life in the area. The known sharks shouldn't have bothered us."

"Uh-huh. Me and one other guy had completed most of the course and were on the last leg of it, the moon overhead, when it struck."

"Uh-huh. I only had an instant of warning, a rush of water pressure against me, and the next thing I knew, a huge set of jaws had clamped around my right hip and upper thigh and I was dragged under. Now, most sharks don't like the taste of humans; one chomp usually does it and they'll spit you out. Usually you're okay if you can get to shore fast enough to leave the blood behind. White sharks really are no different. And they don't deliberately attack humans because they recognize us as a food source. They don't. Most scientists believe that great whites attack humans as a case of mistaken identity - we're mistaken for seals or something they usually eat. That might have been the case, or the fish was just hungry and I was interesting enough. Anyway, I was taken under but I punched it in the nose and it let me go. I swam up and low boats that were nearby were already on their way to help. Being a surfer even then, I knew what to look for, what to feel for, so I did, hoping the thing wouldn't scent my blood and come in for another rush. Well, it did, but it didn't go for me. The guy I was with, he was terrified. Apparently, he'd seen Jaws one too many times. He was right next to me and yelling and thrashing around. I tried to get him to stop, but...."

"Well, just before the boats got to us, I felt the rushing pressure again. I yelled at him to curl up in a ball, but he wouldn't listen. The White breached when it rushed up from the bottom. Grabbed him in the middle, went up, and then over. I think his neck was snapped in that instant. That's what breaching is for, or more likely to stun the prey. Anyway, I was hauled out of the water and into the boat and tourniquets put on me just as the White breached again and I saw the lower half of the guy's body get sheared straight off before I passed out. The other boats went out to pick up the rest of the guys. Nobody was going to stay in the water if dangerous animals were in the area; certainly that 18-foot great white counted as such. But that's why I don't like deep water ocean, especially at night."

Blair shuddered and hugged his partner tightly. He snuggled when Jim's arms tightened around him. "Oh, man. You could've been killed right then, and I never would have known you."

"But I wasn't, and we did get to know each other, Chief. I made it out and okay, one-hundred percent," Jim said softly.

Since Jim's right nipple was so close to his mouth, Blair pressed a kiss to it, delighting in Jim's soft moan and shiver, then asked, "Is the Ranger's Creed where you get that expression from?"

"Took it upon myself to look it up after getting to know you. Figured it might lend some insight into your personality if you had what it took to be a Ranger. So, you use the 'one-hundred percent' from the 'N' part of the Creed? Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be. One Hundred-Percent and then some."

Blair leaned up to grin at the older man. "Figured it might be. That's you to the letter, man."

They laughed and then Blair surprised Jim by leaning forward and kissing him hungrily.

The older man moaned as he opened his mouth, inviting his guide inside. Blair accepted the invitation promptly and thoroughly explored Jim's mouth. He briefly thought that with all the kissing they'd done earlier, he ought to know his partner's mouth by now, but then dismissed the thought with a mental shrug and the attitude of "too much is never enough."

Jim managed to pull back enough to gasp out, "Want ... want you in ... me, this time!"

Blair went totally still and drew back so he could look at his lover. "Are you sure, Jim?"

Ellison nodded firmly. "Yes. I've been aching for this for a long time now. Want you in me ASAP, Sandburg."

The younger man snickered. "Yep, that sounds like the impatient James Ellison I know and love."

Jim rolled over so that he was above his lover once again, staring down heatedly into wide blue eyes. "Do you?"

"Yes. I love you. I can't believe I actually needed my eyes opened as to how I love you, but I do, I promise, Jim!" Blair said fervently.

Rolling over again, Jim pulled Blair on top of him and held him close, delighting in the taste of the younger man as they kissed again. He wanted Blair now; needed Blair now, and was gratified that his guide apparently needed him as much, also.

Jim was close to zoning on the taste of the younger man above him. His tongue parted his friend's lips and wandered inside his mouth. His body was smoldering with need for Blair's. His partner's responses ignited his desires. He stroked his hands slowly down the compact, muscular back as he smiled up at the other man. "You're beautiful," he said quietly.

"Me? You must be joking," Blair replied with a grin. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror, man? You're ... you're like this god, almost, but that's like, so clich�..."

Jim laughed and leaned up to silence the younger man, but not with a kiss to the mouth. Instead, he pulled the shorter body up higher above him even as he aimed for the right nipple and latched onto it, sucking and tonguing it gently while his the fingers of one of his hands began pinching and stroking the left nipple; the pierced nipple, gently twisting the ring that was threaded through the sensitive flesh. When Blair moaned and arched against him, he slid that hand down Blair's body to cup and fondle a firm buttock and stroked the hip nearest that tempting area as his mouth transferred to the pierced nipple. His gentle actions produced a frenzy of writhing and moaning that delighted Ellison to no end.

He groaned happily when Blair's hands began to roam over his body, stroking and teasing him, exciting him. He purred roughly when those strong, beautiful hands slid slowly, soothingly down his sides, then slipped between his thighs to gently tease his balls and the hidden crevice below them. "Oh, yeah," he sighed, and began kissing his lover's shoulders and chest.

Blair settled between Jim's spread thighs and looked intently at one of the most beautiful cocks it had ever been his privilege to see. It was broad, strong, and straining eagerly, awaiting his attention. Moving slowly, so he wouldn't end anything prematurely, he carefully wrapped his lips around the rock hard erection. Ever so seductively, his mouth moved up and down the satiny length of Jim's cock, pumping gently and attentively as he suckled teasingly.

Jim shuddered in Blair's arms, almost mindless with the pleasure of the other man's stimulation of his body. It was everything he'd been hoping for when he'd asked Blair to take him, but he wasn't sure he was going to survive this. His stomach briefly contracted on an urgent wave of desire as Blair deftly worked his body, but he refused to think about hurrying this moment. His hands gripped and stroked Blair's powerful shoulders as he gave up control of his body to the younger man, knowing that Sandburg was just as assuredly giving himself to him.

Jim groaned and shivered against his partner. He had to exert all the will power at his command to keep from coming at the sensations Blair was causing in his body. Groaning, he pushed at Blair's shoulders as he said, "Blair ... too close ... want you in me when I come!"

With a breathless gasp, Sandburg pulled his mouth free from his sentinel's cock and moved lower, his tongue flicking like wildfire over the older man's balls, then moved lower as he lifted Jim's hips.

"Oh, God!" Jim cried out as he felt Blair's tongue there. "Chief, are you sure?" he gasped breathlessly.

"Oh, yeah ... don't worry, I'm not grossed out; you smell and taste great," Blair murmured happily, his voice rough with desire. "Tell me what you want, Jim."

Blair pulled back and sat up, looking down at the man lying beneath him as he raised an eyebrow. Then, he slowly returned the sly grin Jim offered him and reached over to the bedside table for the tube of lubricant. His body rippled sinuously and as he sat back, he stretched and displayed himself brazenly to his sentinel lover. The lust-filled moan that rippled from the older man made him chuckle.

Sandburg paused as he knelt between Jim's thighs, looking down at Ellison with desire and love. "Want me?" he asked softly, running one hand slowly down his own chest, rubbing briefly at one nipple before slowly continuing down until he fisted his cock. He pumped slowly, leisurely, and smiled lazily.

"All right, baby," Blair said soothingly. He sat back on his heels, still stroking his erection slowly. "We'll get there, big guy. Be patient a little longer."

"I'll try, Chief, but you know you're not making it easy on me," Jim said with a shaky grin.

Blair laughed and then he reached out a finger and gathered the pre-come that was trailing from the tip of his partner's dick. He put the anointed finger in his mouth and suckled the taste of the older man from his digit, approving again of Jim's taste.

The sentinel shivered and then reached toward his guide. "That's what I want, right now," he said. "Wanna taste you, first."

"No. Want you to come in my ass; but I still wanna taste you. Come on up here," said the older man with another grin.

Sandburg shivered and nodded, scooting up on his knees and knee-walking up Jim's body until he was straddling his friend's broad, muscular chest.

Jim wasted no time. Lifting his head enough, his tongue snaked out and touched the tip, then began bathing the iron-hard erection thoroughly.

Ellison hummed happily and then opened his mouth wide and took Blair deep inside, sucking powerfully.

Blair gasped, startled by the almost overwhelming sensation, and instinctively thrust before he could control himself. He stilled almost immediately and looked down. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

Jim responded by sucking again and then stroking his tongue against the head of his guide's cock, reaching up to hold his hips firmly. The guide groaned and began moving slowly within his partner's mouth, leaning up to grasp the railing, pushing in and pulling out carefully. "Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah, oh yeah, you're so good at this, big guy, and you're all mine...."

It wasn't too long before the younger man reluctantly pulled away from that succulent mouth. At Jim's questioning noise, he said softly, "Gotta stop now, or I'm gonna come. Want to be inside your ass when I do that, remember?"

Eagerly, Jim nodded and wriggled his hips. Chuckling, Blair moved down lower again until he was once more between his friend's legs. Picking up the lube, he got two fingers nice and slippery with a little extra on the tips and then he brought his hand down and carefully, gently worked one finger into Jim's entrance first. He kept his gaze on his lover the entire time, smiling at the older man. Jim relaxed quickly and Blair's finger slid in and out easily. He added the second one, enjoying the low, thrilling moan Jim let loose with. Pulling out his fingers, Blair quickly lubed up three of them and carefully worked them in, moving until they slid easily within Jim.

Nodding, Sandburg removed his fingers and this time, slicked up his cock. "Okay, big guy, here it comes," he said softly. "Gonna do you good, man." Pressing against the entrance to Ellison's body, he kept pushing until the tip of his cock eased inside with a soft pop and then paused. Jim groaned softly and gripped his shoulders as he whispered, "Ahh, yeah, that feels so good. Waited so long for this...." A moment later, Blair began moving again, pressing inside until he was inside Jim as deep as he could go. There was a sharp, full feeling that radiated inside the sentinel, stabbing through his belly. It was a sensation he hadn't felt in a while, not since his last session with Dr. Grant and her toys, and he was loving it.

Blair pulled back slowly and the constricted feeling in Jim's lower body ebbed away with his movement. Afraid that his lover would pull out completely, Ellison clamped his muscles tightly against Blair's cock, trying to trap him there through sheer force of his ass's muscles.

Sandburg groaned and shuddered. "Jim ... oh, God, big guy, be careful. If you do that again, this is gonna be all over." Slowly, deliberately, he began to thrust half in, half out. Jim shuddered and stared at Blair's passionate, purposeful expression. His eyes were half-closed, lust suffusing his face, as well as a steely determination to not come until his partner had reached his own pleasure, not to mention wanting this first time with Blair inside him to last a while.

Jim scissored his legs tightly around Blair's buttocks, forcing him to enter the older man more deeply.

It was better than anything either of them had ever had before. It was as profound a mating ritual as it could get and tears welled up and leaked from Jim's eyes at the sheer intensity of their lovemaking. Blair was like a man possessed. With his every thrust, he stroked across the sentinel's prostate and elicited a small, sharp cry from the ecstatic detective. The younger man pounded in and out of him faster and faster and faster. Blair shuddered with the strain of keeping himself from climaxing, but it seemed a little difficult. Soon he had to explode; surely he couldn't continue on this way much longer.

But he had incredible staying power, and to hear Jim call his name so breathlessly, so wantonly each time Blair slammed inside him, he would do whatever it took to stay there.

Jim gave himself over completely to the warm friction of Blair's cock plunging repeatedly inside him, relishing the nudge of that wide, firm head as it brushed against his prostate so deliciously. He felt as though he could go on like this forever. He held his lover close to him, his hips snapping upwards to meet each thrust of the younger man's hips, shaking with the fierce enjoyment of their coupling.

Blair growled low in his throat as he worked to bring about Jim's final pleasure. On and on he savagely assaulted his partner's open thighs, jolting his lover with each furious inward thrust. A moment later, he reached between their bodies and grasped Jim's cock in his fist and began pumping in rhythm to his movements.

Ellison howled and arched his back, his hands clamped in a death grip on Blair's shoulders as his climax burned through him. Shuddering, his seed spurted from his body hard and fast, spraying on Blair's furry chest and belly as well as his own hairless skin, his muscles clenching spasmodically.

"Yes," Jim whimpered, holding tighter. "Yeah, Chief, yes, please, give it to me! Blair, give it to me!"

Groaning, the younger man squeezed his eyes tightly shut and concentrated on his own pleasure. Desire ripped like razor-wire through his guts as he heard the older man's panting voice gasp out breathlessly, "More ... oh, yeah, more, more, harder, Chief, harder!"

Throwing back his head, he loosed a primal howl from his throat and he felt Jim's legs squeeze him tighter. His body bucked, jerked, and then he drove so deeply into his lover that Jim let out a small cry of pain. Shuddering, Blair clung to Jim as if for dear life as he exploded within the sentinel, his semen spilling hot and fast and hard into the grasping channel.

They lay breathlessly in the bed, twined around each other, struggling to get air back into their lungs. Eventually, their hearts calmed and their breathing evened out and Blair lifted his head to smile down at his lover in the semi-darkness of the moonlit bedroom. "Was it good for you?" he asked with a chuckle.

"If it ever got better, I'd never be able to walk straight again," Ellison declared, and the two of them laughed. Shyly, the older man leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to Blair's mouth. "Thank you. It was wonderful, Chief."

"Was it what you were hoping for?" Blair asked sleepily as his Blessed Protector rolled them to their sides, both of them sighing as his softened dick slipped free of Jim's body.

"It was way better than any of my fantasies ever were," Jim replied lovingly, pressing a kiss to Blair's mouth.

Snickering lightly, Jim tugged the sheet and blankets up over their bodies and snuggled down to nap as well.

"Hey, Jim?" Blair asked softly, looking up from his plate and the dinner he'd been contemplating.

The two of them had woken up an hour ago and had been ravenous. Knowing they needed protein, especially if they were going to continue making love for the next few hours, Blair had taken a thick, juicy steak out of the freezer and quickly defrosted it while Jim took a quick shower. Then Blair had set it to broil while he took his own shower and Jim took care of making the salad.

Now, Blair paused in his own eating to glance at his hungry lover, who was plowing through his steak as though it were the first piece of meat he'd had in ten years after an enforced diet of nothing but beans and fish. "You know, don't you, that I am proud of you? I'm very, very proud of you."

Jim swallowed the chunk of steak he'd chewed and glanced questioningly at his partner across the table. "Well ... I suppose so, yes. Why do you bring this up?"

"It was one of the things you seemed kind of surprised and unsure about, in your journal. I wanted to let you know that I am proud of you, exceedingly so. You're a wonderful man and you do your job very well, both as a cop and as a sentinel. And being the caring, protective soul that you are, I can't help but be proud of you." Blair grinned. "You wouldn't believe the swelling my ego goes through whenever I hear someone say: 'That's Sandburg; Ellison's partner.' People say it like it's the greatest honor a body could achieve. I get such a rush out of it."

"Really? I never hear these things," Jim commented, taking a quick gulp from his water glass.

"It's mainly from the uniforms, like when I'm entering the station or joining you at a crime scene," Blair replied, forking up a bite of salad, then a bite of steak once he'd finished that. Most people thought he was a vegetarian freak or something, but no, he did enjoy a piece of well-cooked meat, especially if it wasn't dipped in lard and then deep-fried.

"Huh. Well, we'll let them keep their illusions," Jim said with a grin. "Give them something to aspire to."

Blair snorted but he remained silent, continuing to eat lunch. It wasn't until they'd finished their cheesecake dessert that Blair said, as he stood to gather up the dishes, "Jim?" When the sentinel looked at him, he bit his lip and added quietly, "I'm sorry for acting as though I'm smarter than you. I know I'm not any smarter than you are; that you're just as intelligent, if not more so, than I am. I'm sorry about that." He gathered up the dishes and turned to take them into the kitchen, letting them pile in the sink while he turned on the hot water.

Jim sat at the table silently for a long moment, then soundlessly got up and moved to where his lover stood. He gripped Blair by the arm even as he reached around the younger man to shut off the water, then turned and led the way over to the couch. Seating Blair in one corner of the sofa, he then settled in beside his partner, sitting sideways so he could look at his young friend.

"Chief, I honestly don't know how to handle this. I don't want to sound patronizing and I don't want to offend you. Let me say this, okay? I don't believe I'm smarter than you and I don't believe you're smarter than me. We're both intelligent men who know lots and lots about our chosen fields. I'm sorry if, somewhere along the line, you got that impression from what you read that I assumed I was smarter or something."

Blair shook his head. "No, not that. You just seemed kind of upset about the way I act in regards to that. And ... maybe you're right. Maybe I have this subconscious need to be a little smarter. Sometimes it feels as though if I don't prove I'm intelligent, if I don't prove I have some worth other than being guide to the Sentinel of the Great City, then I'll be made to leave. I said it once before, man: going back to plain old academia would be like going to a merry-go-round after a roller-coaster ride."

Jim leaned forward and took both of his partner's hands in his own. "Blair, I'm sorry that you feel that way. It's not true, though. The guys at the department, they know you're intelligent. They know you can apply what you know to current cases. They know you're a good guy and they like you. Simon likes you, too, you know."

Blair grinned sheepishly. "Yeah. We had a chat a few days ago. He made his position clear. I'm not too worried about it anymore. Just ... insecure. And that reminds me: I do not suffer from low self-esteem! I suffer from insecurity!"

Ellison sighed. "Blair, what would you call that, then? Insecurity is lack of confidence, which is the same thing as low self-esteem."

"I'm not insecure about myself, man, it's ... or it was ... about my place in your life. Where I fit in. Whether or not you liked me or only tolerated me," Blair said quietly, glancing down at their joined hands.

"Chief," the older man said softly, hurt lacing his tone. "How could you doubt what you mean to me? Haven't I shown you before now how much I care about you?"

"Yes, sometimes, but then you'd get mad and yell and snarl at me about something and freeze me out. I got so confused, man. But when I learned the truth, a lot of it started making sense." Blair gave his lover a calculating gaze. "You were trying to keep me from finding out you love me, weren't you? You were afraid I was going to leave or be grossed out."

"Just what is it about me that makes you think I would do something like that to you, my best friend?"

Ellison was silent for a long time as he thought about it, and how to answer that. Blair, recognizing his friend's silence as such and not as being ignored, waited patiently. Finally, Jim shrugged and said, "Its not you so much as I was afraid of rejection. I've been rejected so many times in my life, Blair ... it hurts. It hurts a lot, especially when I let someone get close to me. And you ... well, you know you're the closest person in my life, ever. I know you're an open-minded, easy-going enough guy, Blair, but even you have limits. I'm not sure I've found them all, yet, but you do have them. I wasn't sure how well you could handle staying with me, knowing I loved you and wanted you. I was afraid you would stay, but eventually, it would be too creepy or too stressful for you and you would leave. I know you would never deliberately try to hurt me, though; that thought never crossed my mind. You're too nice." This was confessed with a shy grin.

Blair laughed. "Oh, sorry, didn't realize that was a problem," he replied with mild sarcasm. "Well ... I guess I can understand where you're coming from. There've been a few times in my life when I was rejected for being who I was, too."

Blair shrugged. "Nothing really spectacular. You know Naomi and I moved around a lot? There was this one time when we were staying with a new boyfriend of hers. Now, this was a rigid, white bread, wholesome family values, heavily religious community. Know what I'm saying?" When Jim nodded, he continued. "They did not like me and Naomi. We were way too different and not anything like their standards. The guy she was dating wasn't openly shunned or anything because he was one of the pillars of the community, and by association, she was treated with cool politeness, too. However, I had to go to school with the kids of that community. More often than not, I would go home with my clothes torn and dirty, bruises on my body where clothing would hide them, my books stomped and scuffed and my papers destroyed. I finally started learning to carry decoy work so I wouldn't have to re-do my homework almost every single night. Some of my teachers were okay, but a lot of them were of the attitude of 'ignore him and maybe he'll go away'. I'd raise my hand, but they wouldn't call on me. I'd turn in my work - and you know how good I do my work, Jim - and I'd get B's or possibly C's for it. There was this one time in history class that we were studying Mayan history very briefly. The teacher asked what was the Mayans greatest achievements. The kids she called on gave wrong answers, like pyramids, or sacrifices, or something else. I put my hand up and she let me answer, and I did. I told her it was abstract mathematics and astronomy. I even went on to give a detailed example."

"Well, you see, one of their greatest intellectual achievements was a pair of interlocking calendars, which was used for such purposes as the scheduling of ceremonies. One calendar was based on the sun and contained 365 days. The second was a sacred 260-day almanac used for finding lucky and unlucky days. The Mayans were highly superstitious, you understand. They believed gods were responsible for everything that went on. The designation of any day included the day name and number from both the solar calendar and the sacred almanac. Anyway, the two calendars can be thought of as two geared wheels that meshed together at one point along the rim, like clockwork gears, with the glyphs for the days of the sun calendar on one wheel and the glyphs for the days of the sacred almanac on the other. With each new day the wheels were turned by one gear. The name for each day was formed by combining the name for the sun calendar day with the name for the sacred almanac day."

"Not only that, she didn't believe I could know that on my own when we had just gotten started in the lesson! She claimed one of the other kids must have given me the answer. I asked her -politely, mind you - how that could have been when nobody else knew the answer and those who had tried had gotten it wrong. She did not like that, let me tell you. I was sent to the principal's office to tell him exactly what I had done, and then I was also given detention. Well, Naomi didn't like it a bit and she came down and tore the teacher a new one after school. Naomi kinda grilled me on what had been happening in school lately and I told her, so we left not too long after. Can't say as I was unhappy about it."

Jim stood up, scooped up his surprised lover, then turned and settled into the corner of the sofa, snuggling the younger man as Blair pulled the afghan over them both. "I'm sorry you went through that, Chief. It must have been frustrating as hell to be surrounded by such narrow-minded people."

"Uh-huh," the younger man replied, snuggling close and burying his face in Jim's neck. "But, see, I can understand why you were afraid of rejection. I'm just sorry that you were. And sorry that we wasted so much time."

"Yeah, but now we have the rest of our lives together, and I, for one, don't plan on checking out anytime soon," Jim said firmly.

"Can I kiss you for a little while? I've got this fantasy of doing nothing but kissing you for a long, long time."

Blair lifted his head with a smile. "Sure, Jim. You kiss really, really nicely, you know?"

"Says him with the mouth that was made for loving," Ellison said heatedly as he shifted them into a more comfortable kissing position.

Sandburg blinked and then found his mouth taken by those unbelievably soft and sensual lips.

They kissed slowly, thoroughly, luxuriously; pausing every now and again to break for air, then went back to caressing each other's mouths sensually, delighting in the warm, comforting contact.

Ten minutes later, the phone rang and two loud, frustrated curses broke through the air of the apartment.

Jim, who was not at all happy to have one of his most cherished fantasies-turned-real being interrupted, growled, "Whoever that is had better have something important to say, or I'm going to do something very not nice."

When the answering machine picked up, they both clearly heard Simon Banks' voice. "Ellison? Sandburg? If you guys are there, pick up, now!"

Groaning, Blair lifted himself up and braced himself so Jim could slide out from under him, which Jim did so. He watched the sentinel go stomping to the phone and yank it up from its cradle, turning it on with a flick of his wrist and thumb. "Yeah, Simon, we're here," Jim said shortly.

"Yeah, we got some sleep. ... Yes, sir, I'm back up to speed; still sore from the beating I took, but that's not surprising. ... Watching TV? No, you interrupted a make-out session. ... No, Simon, Sandburg wasn't out somewhere; that was Sandburg." Blair laughed when he heard the captain's bellow and watched Jim yank the phone away from his hypersensitive ear quickly.

Jim shot him a look then turned his attention back to his boss. "Yes, Simon, I'm serious. ... Early this morning. ... Oh, yes sir, it was very good, every time." Jim laughed at his captain's quick and vehement affirmation that it was too much information. "That's what you get for butting in to our personal business, Simon. ... Okay, I can make it in tomorrow; should be mobile without pain by then. ... Simon, I thought you said too much information? You don't exactly want to know how mobile I've been, remember? ... Yeah, but ... Waitaminute, what do you mean you- ... Really? That's not a bad haul. So glad we could finance your cigar vice, sir. ... Right, will do. ... Oh, believe me, Simon, I do plan to enjoy myself. ... Very good, sir; see you tomorrow." With that, Jim hung up and turned back to his lover.

"Apparently, our good friends in the department knew I was smitten with somebody. Simon, Joel, and Rhonda had bet on it being you, so they're gonna split the pool that was going on and each walk away with a hefty enough sum," Jim said with a grin.

The younger man snorted as he stood up from the couch and stretched. "Figures. I'm always the last to know about anything involving you...."

Jim gathered his partner against him for a hug as he grinned. "Yeah, but that all is gonna change. I can't guarantee it will be immediately, but I will try."

Looking up into beautiful pale blue eyes, Blair saw an almost desperate earnestness in them. He leaned into the larger, muscular body and said, "Relax, Jim, it's okay. I'm not expecting perfection. Whatever changes you feel you have to make, well, you make them in your own time. I will appreciate it if you manage to stop shutting me out, but I'll take what I can get in the meantime. I've loved you as you are for this long, man; I can love you for the rest of our lives however you are."

Cupping that beloved face in his hands, Jim leaned down and kissed Blair passionately and gratefully. When he pulled back, he smiled down into a pair of dazed blue eyes. "Thank you, baby. You don't know how grateful I am for your patience and understanding."

"I've got an inkling of it," Blair mumbled, then shook his head and grinned. "Wow! Big guy, you kiss almost divinely. Sure you're not a god of some sort?"

"Yep. I want." Blair extracted himself from Jim's embrace and slowly began to walk away, around the couch. Since they were both wearing only robes, he began untying the belt of his as Jim watched.

Blair stopped and turned to face his lover, letting the robe fall open to bare the front of his body and his half-hard cock to the older man. Affecting a sultry expression, he murmured, "Who said I was gonna take one alone? Or don't you want to see me naked and soaking wet?"

The guide laughed as a moment later his sentinel went charging past him, grabbing his wrist on the way to pull him along behind him into the bathroom. The door was shut, the water in the shower flipped on and set to a warm temperature, and a few seconds later, Blair found himself and his partner naked as jaybirds and himself being lifted into the tub. Jim followed him in a moment later and proceeded to kiss him breathless while the water poured down on them, soaking them both thoroughly.

When Jim attempted to take over, Blair stopped him and pushed gently until the bigger man was braced against the far wall of the shower. He grinned up into lustful, confused blue eyes and said, "I know how long you've been wanting me. Well, I'm going to make it up to you. I want you to simply stand there and absolutely revel in everything I do to you. I want to give this to you. I want you to feel everything I do and just glory in the fact that it's me doing it to you. Got it?"

Jim swallowed hard and nodded, his eyes wide. He trembled as he watched Blair's smile grow wicked and thought, This can't be happening. It's really happening. It's finally happening! Oh, God!

Blair grinned and heroically held back a snicker when Jim closed his eyes almost frantically and dropped his head back to rest on the tiles, his posture practically shouting "YES, PLEASE, NOW DAMMIT!"

Reaching up, he lightly trailed his fingertips over every inch of Jim's face, memorizing the fine bone structure and smooth skin, taking extra time tracing those marvelous lips that he believed were actually lethal weapons in disguise. They certainly wreaked havoc on him. He smiled when Jim's lips quivered and parted, the sentinel blindly following his fingers to briefly capture them with his lips and nibble lightly with his teeth. Playfully, Blair tapped on Jim's sensitive lips with his fingers, then moved downward to his chin and jaw, tracing the sturdy bones, coaxing him to relax.

"I have always wanted to do that," he confessed quietly. "Every time I see you grit your teeth, your jaw clenching, I've wanted to reach over and just about pet you to get you to relax."

"Didn't know it then." Blair moved his fingers up slightly to play with sensitive sentinel ears, relishing the purring sounds Jim could no longer contain, then moved down to stroke his lover's neck.

Instantly, Jim stiffened slightly and shivered hard. He groaned and then said, "Oh, man ... Chief, that's one of my-"

Blair grinned as he cut him off. "Uh-huh. I know. I read about it, remember? Now just hang on..."

"To what?" Jim croaked as Blair let his fingers trail off and then leaned up to attach his mouth there.

"Certainly not your sanity," the younger man chuckled, stroking his lips over the skin of Jim's neck.

Gathering what little wits he had left, Jim grit his teeth and forced out, "Blair ... turn off the water ... or we'll lose the hot water by the time we're done!"

Recognizing the wisdom in those words, Blair reached back and shut off the water, then returned his attention to Jim's neck. "Okay. Now stop thinking."

Jim replied with a garbled, strangled gurgle and shuddered when he felt Blair's teeth scrape across the cords in his neck.

Delighted at reducing his partner to responsive Jell-O, Blair nuzzled against Jim's throat, licking delicately for a moment. As Jim whimpered, he said softly, "Don't come, Jim. Not until I say so." A definite whine greeted this pronunciation and he snickered. "Trust me, you'll thank me for it later." He licked slowly and added, "When you wake up." He sucked at the join between neck and shoulder on Jim's left side as a trilling whimper escaped from the sentinel.

Licking a trail up the side of Jim's neck to the lobe of his left ear, Blair whispered into that ear, "Do you know? I've always thought you're rather regal looking - especially in profile - and you know what helps pull that off besides those masculinely beautiful features? It's your neck. For all you're so muscular, your neck is still slender; you still have a neck, unlike some guys who work out. There have been times when I'll be watching you do something, especially when you're wearing one of your tight tank-tops, and you'll turn your head to the side and I get to see this exquisite - yes, I've always thought that - profile and your neck is just so ... linear ... so proportional to the rest of you. And now I get to show my appreciation for it; I get to play with it and I intend to play very, very well..."

Jim's fingers clenched into the tiles of the wall, frantically scrabbling for purchase as Blair switched to the other side and sank his teeth into one tense ridge and began flicking his tongue over it. Tears stung his eyes at the intensity of it all - the pleasurable sensation, the fact that it was his Blair doing it - and he moaned in a tiny voice, "blair ... gonna come..."

Instantly, Blair released his neck and stepped back. He said nothing and touched no part of the older man, taking no chance that something he did would cause Jim's climax. When the sentinel got himself under control and nodded permission to start again, Blair simply stroked his lover's neck with his fingertips before moving to squeeze and knead his shoulders, lightly dragging his short, sharp nails over the fine skin. He swept his hands down Jim's muscular arms and tangled his fingers with the other man's, bringing those marvelous hands up to kiss them and suckle the sensitive fingertips.

"I love your hands," he breathed quietly. "You have such wonderful hands. You talk more with them than you do with your mouth. You always seem to convey entire monologues with your hands, especially when you touch me. I love to watch them move, but I especially love it when they're patting some part of me, or sliding through my hair. And every time I've gotten hurt or needed comforting, these strong, sturdy, dependable hands have been there, letting me know I'm not alone, that someone cares enough to take care of me. Your hands show your inner self, you know. Much like eyes are the mirrors of the soul and, by the way, your eyes are beautiful. I could stare into them forever and never get tired of it. Thousands of different shades of blue and light and shadows in them, just like your hands seem to speak hundreds of languages so effortlessly. But what they really convey is your strength of character; your compassion and your integrity and your protectiveness. It's unreal how so many people who have known you can overlook what's right under their noses."

Jim had his sense of touch dial held firmly under control, not letting it rise up a few notches like it instinctively wanted to. "Love your ... way with ... words, Chief," he ground out, gasping when Blair sucked forcefully on his left middle finger.

Sandburg chuckled. "It's what I do, man," he said quietly, then gently untangled his hands from his partner's and leaned forward to begin slowly kissing every inch of Jim's chest.

The sentinel gasped and sighed, arching forward slightly as his chest was stimulated, and then he cried out when Blair's mouth latched quickly and firmly onto his left nipple, sucking and laving it sensuously. Eyes closed, concentrating on what his lover was doing to him, Ellison was very much so doing as Blair had ordered from the beginning: he was reveling in being made love to, adoring what his partner was doing. And he was quite certain that his heart was going to burst with the sheer profusion of love that was swelling through that vital organ. He had known that Blair cared for him, but this....

Time seemed to crawl slowly and yet speed by quickly for both men as Blair made love to his sentinel. His mouth traveled over every inch of Jim's body, tasting and caressing him and making him quiver helplessly. Jim was absolutely convinced of one thing: if this never happened to him again, he would still be able to remember every single detail of this experience for the rest of his life.

When Blair's mouth finally closed around his cock, he arched his neck, let his head fall back, and screamed in utter abandon.

Sandburg knew his lover wouldn't be able to last much longer. Hell, he didn't think he was going to last much longer! He was getting off on giving the older man such pleasure, knowing that it was his touch that was driving Jim nearly insane with need. His own cock was so hard he was sure it would burst at any time. Sucking and nibbling on his partner's sensitive, well-endowed organ, not having any previous experience but loving Jim with incentive, he relished the taste and feel of this man. He had one brief thought that he never would have thought he would enjoy a man this way, but he let the thought go. Nothing mattered now except that he was with Jim, finally.

Pulling back from the older man, he smiled and whispered, "It's okay, Jim. You can come now." Leaning forward, his mouth open, he fully intended to let his needy partner come in his mouth, but he suddenly found himself yanked to his feet and spun dizzily to land against the wall. "Jim?!"

A guttural growling sound issued from Jim's mouth the instant before that mouth claimed his in such a fierce kiss that Blair tasted blood. Hands were on his legs, gripping powerfully and urging them up to wrap around Jim's hips. He did so, his arms going around his lover's muscular shoulders and he cried into Jim's mouth when his partner's erection met his own as their groins pressed together.

Jim immediately began humping against his guide, thrusting hard against the smaller body as he devoured the younger man's mouth, desperate to taste his lover. Soft whimpering sounds of want issued heedlessly from his throat as he nipped and sucked and kissed and stroked that glorious, carnal mouth. He was aware of Blair's eager response to his actions on a subconscious level and it pleased him immensely. He moved powerfully against his lover, shuddering as he felt his orgasm clawing it's way up from his balls and with three short, sharp jerks of his hips against Blair's, he threw back his head and screamed again as his seed exploded from his cock, striping them both wetly with the blood-hot fluid. Mindlessly, his body continued to thrust against Blair's as his orgasm consumed him.

Blair was right behind him. His mind hazed with pleasure and then his own body emptied itself between them, his legs cinching tighter around Jim's hips and his arms clutching harder as his own scream wafted towards the ceiling. He bucked and writhed in Jim's arms, struggling desperately to be closer to his sentinel.

After a long few minutes or so, they both gradually quieted and ceased moving. And then Jim pretty much fell asleep standing up. His legs gave out and, braced against Blair, the two of them slid down the shower wall to land with a thump in the tub.

Sandburg grimaced at the bump on his tailbone, but he grinned a moment later as he took in the utterly relaxed countenance of his sleeping sentinel's face. Untangling himself from the larger man, Blair gently shifted Jim to lie propped up against the end of the tub and the wall. Getting shakily to his feet, he climbed out of the shower enclosure to get a washcloth out of the towel cabinet and then returned to the tub. He positioned the showerhead lower and then turned the warm water back on. He rinsed the come from his own body, then did so for Jim. Picking up the soap, he gave his lover a cursory scrub down, unable to do much else unless Ellison woke up. When that was done, he cleaned himself up, then positioned the showerhead so the spray came down squarely on Jim's abdomen.

Smiling, he began to stroke the washboard stomach and muscular pectorals as he said softly, "Jim? Come on, big guy, time to wake up and head back to bed. Wakey-wakey, sunshine..."

A few minutes later, Jim groggily opened his eyes. "Chief?" he mumbled quietly. "What're ya doin'?"

Blair snickered. "Trying to wake you up, Zombie-man. I'll help you, but do you think you can get your feet and legs under you? I need a nap, too, and I'd rather it be in our bed."

Working together - Jim still half-asleep - they got the bigger man up and on his feet. Blair shut off the water, then helped Jim climb out of the shower, laughing when the sentinel stumbled against him.

"Yeah, I know, man. My legs are wobblier than a new-born giraffe's, too!" Blair snickered. "Only a little bit longer so we can dry off, and then we'll be snuggled upstairs and snoozing merrily, whaddya say?"

Working as quickly as he could, Blair grabbed up a few towels and perfunctorily dried his lover as best as he could. He was mildly surprised and pleased when Jim roused enough to attempt to dry him off, massaging his hair and scalp through a towel, but he could tell that the sentinel was on his way back to the Land of Nod. Stuffing the towels in the hamper and leaving the robes where they were, Blair shut off the lights and led the older man out of the bathroom. He propped Jim up against the wall beside the stairs with an admonition to "wait there, man, back in a sec" and then he checked the locks and turned off any lights that were on. Satisfied that all was in order, he then returned to his partner, who immediately tucked him close beside him.

They stumbled up the stairs together and before long, they were both burrowed beneath the covers again, both of them unconscious before their heads hit the pillows.

"Not that I wasn't grateful - ahhh, that's good, big guy - but why didn't you just come right then?"

Jim contemplated Blair's foot that he was massaging as he lounged at the foot of the bed. The younger man was sprawled along the length of the big bed, draped bonelessly atop the blankets and his head sinking into the pillows. Jim had woken up when he'd felt Blair's foot start twitching in his sleep and when he'd put his hand on his partner's leg, he'd felt the muscles coiling in readiness for a leg cramp. He'd immediately begun massaging, and here they were in their present positions.

Shrugging, he replied, "I didn't want to come alone. I wanted you, my mate, to come with me. Simple as that."

Ellison snorted. "It was the second greatest experience of my life, Sandburg, and you ask me if it was good for me? Like it wasn't obvious?"

The younger man lifted his head to stare at his lover with glittering blue eyes. "Second greatest experience? I went to all that effort to give you pleasure like you've never known, and you're telling me it was only good enough for second place?"

"Well, if you want to get technical about it, for a physical event in a subcategory, it was El Numero Uno. But if you count it as part and parcel of the whole shebang, then yeah, it was second."

"You." Jim held his lover's gaze firmly with his own. "You telling me you love me as much as I love you. That is my most grand experience, ever. I wish there were someway to let you feel what I felt when you said that, but I'll have to content myself with showing you as often as I can."

Blair smiled tenderly. "Jim, you have, in so many ways already. You take care of me; you're concerned for my welfare and you go out of your way to do things for me each day. Think I don't know about that? If all that doesn't say you love me, then I don't know what does. I simply didn't know in what way that you loved me."

"Well, I'm glad," Jim replied, abandoning Blair's foot to move up and lie sprawled beside the younger man. He gathered his guide into his arms and snuggled him. "After all the shit you've gone through since teaming up with me...."

"Hey." Blair lifted his head so he could stare directly into Jim's eyes. "You listen to me. I don't regret a single moment of my life with you. I'm better off because I met you; better off because something in you found enough in me to care about. I've never had a friend like you before, Jim. Never had a lover like you before, either. And I never will again, man; you are it for me. Forever and ever. You are, like, so stuck with me, man. No way in hell you're ever getting me out of this apartment, now!"

"Thank God," Jim groaned, and enthusiastically snuggled his lover, inhaling that warm, deliciously sleepy Blair scent that he loved so much.

They were silent for a little while longer and then Blair said softly from the vicinity of Jim's chest, "Hey, Jim?"

"I never blamed you for Janet's death." When he felt the sentinel stiffen in his arms, Blair soothingly petted the muscular chest that was below the shoulder his head was nestled on. "No, listen to me. When it happened, I tried to, briefly, but I couldn't. Because it wasn't your fault, man. Yeager is the one who killed her and he was going to do it whether we were five minutes late or five minutes early. He is the one who killed her and he alone did it. I never blamed you, Jim. Never will. But if you need to hear it, I do forgive you. I love you."

Jim sighed and tightened his hold. Dropping a kiss to now dry, beloved silky curls, he murmured, "Thank you. It may take a while before I agree with you, but thank you nonetheless."

Smiling, Jim shifted until he could reach the blankets and he yanked on them to get them out from under their bodies. When he had, he drew them back up to cover them up to their chins. "Go back to sleep, baby. We need to head into the station in the morning."

Early the next morning, Jim and Blair finished a leisurely breakfast together. Having gotten plenty of sleep the evening before, they were well-rested and ready to get on with their lives, albeit with a twist.

Dropping dishes into the sink to soak for the day, they then scrambled to brush their teeth and gather up the necessary items for the planned activities.

Meeting in the living room, winter jackets and gloves and hats on, they grinned at each other.

"Well, I know that, but I meant to head into the station?" the sentinel teased, and laughed when Blair rolled his eyes and then reached out to smack his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, that too. Come on, man. Sooner I get that report typed up, the sooner I can go check on my class at Rainier and see how much doo-doo I'm in with the faculty board for skipping out for another three days."

Jim blinked and looked down with concern at his guide. "Blair, if you jeopardized your teaching position just to be with me in the prison - I'm going to be having words with Simon about that, by the way-"

"Jim, man, don't worry. I can explain my way out of it. I always do," Blair said with a grin. "Now, you wanna get going so we can put a few wide grins on Simon, Joel, and Rhonda's faces?"

"Uh-huh. And duck the incoming from the rest of the gang. But first, there's something I gotta do," Jim said with a smile.

"Like this," the sentinel replied with a growl and he yanked his guide against him and plundered his mouth with a hot "good morning" kiss.

When he was done, he released his partner, steadying the smaller man when Blair stumbled a bit. His smile was smug as he said, "Okay. Now that that's done with, let's get going." Stepping around his guide, he led the way to the door and walked through it, knowing Blair would follow in a moment.

Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs from it, Blair laughed softly and then turned and charged for the door, grabbing up his keys, locking the door, and yanking it shut after him as he called after his sentinel, "I am so going to get you for that, man!"

Exiting the building and heading for his truck, Jim Ellison laughed quietly to himself. Unlocking the driver's side door and climbing in, he leaned over to unlock the passenger door as Blair came racing out of their building and up to the vehicle. Once inside, the guide leaned over, grabbed his partner's head, and yanked him down for an in-depth kiss of his own, then let go of the sentinel and ordered him to drive.

Shaking his own head, Jim started the truck then put it into gear and began the drive to the police station.